Stepping Into the Story

Do you grill your fruit?

2010-08-17T18:55:00.003-06:00

If your answer is no, you should.

Go run out to your closest farmer's market and get yourself some peaches. Grilled bananas is amazing too. And don't even get me started on grilled pineapple. Heavenly I tell you.

This was my dinner tonight. I'm being serious. Well, before the peach glory, I actually had a piece of peanut butter toast. I figured I got all of my main food groups, so I called it good.

Seriously. Look at the honey dripping off.

Here is what you do:

Peach. Slice it in half. Grill it for about 5 minutes.

Drizzle honey on both sides.

Sprinkle granola.

Enjoy and fall in love.

Because sometimes breathing is necessary.

2010-08-13T06:58:00.001-06:00

Oy, has it been a good week.

Take, for instance, my evening last night:

Loving my sunsets by the water!

Loving her evening workouts in the water!

Perfection, eh?

LOVE it. This week has been a nice breather for us. Moments like these pictures show abounded, which we needed. It has been a deep breath kind of week. Sleeping in in the mornings. Late night conversations with friends. Mid-day on Wednesday we were both home so we threw on our swimsuits and played in the water with Sophie; so fun!

We're both taking today off to just have a day away, unplugged, un-everything'd. The year is going to get crazy-busy for us beginning next week and we want to enter into it rested and restored. It'll be fun and I'm looking forward to all of it, but it'll be a pretty quick pace.

This has been a fairly chaotic summer. For me, for sure, but especially for Lane. He has been gone A TON, so even if I've been around, with him leaving and going and leaving and going it still just lends a sense of instability to our life.

I just looked at the calendar, and of the past 12 weeks, L has been home for only 2 of those weekends. We'll both be home this weekend, which has been so unheard of and rare this summer, and I can't wait! This will be only his 3rd time making it to church with me out of the last 12 Sundays! We might as well be living Active Duty Army Life again with that track record!

I'm excited for our weekend- We're doing our day away today: just going into the mountains for a day to read, relax, journal, think. Then tonight is over to a friends house for dinner. Saturday is cleaning out our garage. Saturday evening is over to another friends house for dinner. Sunday is showing up and sitting next to each other at church! So good.

We're just slowing down to catch our breath before the next sprint starts. Summer's are supposed to be relaxing, right? Ayiyi! It's a good life, though.

There are no guarantees...

2010-08-09T11:12:00.002-06:00

This might be a doozy of a post, but my mind is thinking about this stuff right now...

At church yesterday morning, our pastor spoke on parenting. He called it 'Mythbusters: Godly homes produce Godly children.' It was basically speaking on how there are no promises that just because you raise your children in a certain way they will chose to follow Jesus. Good parents sometimes have hard kids that turn out not following Jesus, making poor life choices, etc. And sometimes bad parents have great kids who end up loving Jesus later in life and having great families of their own.

And all of this got me thinking. You can try to control things as much as possible, do all the 'right' things, but sometimes there are just no guarantees in life.

Take for instance, my sweet friend Brooke. She's phenomenal. They were (and still are!) some of our most cherished friends while we lived in Georgia. I don't think she would mind me sharing this because she talks about it freely on her blog, but they're pregnant right now but her baby boy has a fatal birth defect. He can live inside of her womb, but as soon as he is born they know that he is not going to make it.

Seriously? It's heartbreaking and doesn't make sense. As she shared the other day, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she took prenatal vitamins, she ate healthy, works out... did everything 'right'. They're now looking at adopting in Africa- kids who are healthy and living probably despite not having prenatal vitamins/health care/clean water/etc.

Also, take my friend Kelsey- also a sweet friend from our time in Georgia. She and her husband Chris came to Fort Benning for a years' worth of training and they were in our small group from church. He went to West Point, they were strong believers, newly married, a great great couple. He has been in Afghanistan for the last year or so and we recently found out that he got killed. Again... Seriously? He was one of the good guys. Like, really solid, amazing man, great husband kind of good guys. Kelsey is now a 23-year-old widow. It doesn't make sense.

You can be an amazing parent and just have a tough kid. You can do all of the right stuff while pregnant and still lose a baby. You can marry a phenomenal man but still lose him so much earlier than you were anticipating. There just are no guarantees in life.

And this sometimes makes me want to hole myself up. Never have kids in case I would have to say goodbye to early. Not let Lane go anywhere without me in case something happens. Try to protect myself from the (potential) pain.

But. I would lose out on too much. And Jesus calls us to hope. And trust. Believe that this isn't all there is. Show others what it is like to love a good God who is unchanging despite what life looks like and who loves us so much. It's a journey, for sure.

So that's what's on my mind today... sorry if I'm a Debbie Downer- I'll try to not be like this everyday. :) Makes me excited to hang out in heaven someday.

My weekend project

2010-08-08T17:35:00.003-06:00

My entertainment this weekend consisted of turning this fun box... holder... wood... thing:

Into this:

Isn't she way cute?!

Technically, I didn't create it from scratch. Actually, not even technically- I just flat out didn't create it from scratch. I saw her at a garage sale and just knew the possibilities hidden within that rough exterior.

I took her from her wooden plank boringness and led her into this beauty.

She was painted with leftover paint from my living room walls but she still needed some oomph. So I was totally inspired by this project and put my own mark on it. It brought my sweet little box to life.

She is currently sitting by our back door but I still have absolutely no idea what her purpose is... maybe a shoe holder? Blankets when it gets colder? Magazines? We'll see. But for now, she is just making me happy by just being herself.

The brilliance of local

2010-08-05T08:26:00.003-06:00

I swung by our local farmer's market yesterday afternoon and absolutely fell in love. There's something about them that speak to my heart. Knowing I'm getting better food grown by hardworking people that live 5 miles away from me rather than 3000. Supporting farmer's directly and ensuring that they are being paid fairly. It's such a different environment than a grocery store.

I walked around, chatting with each farmer... asked where their farm was, how to tell if their produce was ready, how long they've lived here and little pieces of their story. I love interactions like that.

I got to the corn guy and he had me take a bite of the corn. Raw. Seriously. He pulled down the husk and I took a bite right there in the farmer's market. It was Delicious. He said that corn sold in grocery stores is developed to ship; to be hardy and last a week or two. But true, local farm corn is grown to be eaten that day so it is much more tender and much sweeter so I could bite it right off. All it needs is to be warmed up enough to melt some butter on it. Fascinating, huh?

I liked him so I bought a lot of corn. Some squash and zucchini at another guys place. Fresh Colorado peaches at another. Green beans too.

And I could carry it all around in my cute pink tote!

I heart Craig's List

2010-08-03T13:53:00.003-06:00

Just this year I have begun something new.

I have entered into the world of Craig's List and it has been epic.

In the fall I dabbled my toes. I needed a new coffee table and found a BEAUTY on there. She's perfect. I'm looking at her right now and still just as in love as I was on Day 1.

Then I took some time off. But this week I was realizing that we had some things we needed to get rid of to open up our house because we have just accumulated some junk in our years.

So I returned. Craig's List was beckoning me back.

Yesterday we put up a desk. SOLD within the afternoon.

This morning we put up some dining room chairs. SOLD within 2 hours!

I now have cash burning in my wallet which is a dangerous, dangerous thing. It feels like free money to me. The responsible thing would be to put it toward vital things like groceries, gas, etc.

That is boring.

In an ideal world I would use this new money to buy shoes maybe. But in my old age I think that I am becoming responsible and will put it towards something necessary.

Still. Craig's List ROCKS!

GREAT weekend!

2010-08-02T10:33:00.003-06:00

Hey friends!

It is now officially Day 2 of August.

School starts in 2 weeks.

Summer is winding down. We've checked off pretty much every box that we wanted to accomplish this summer... except one. But more on that later. :) But we wanted to go to Costa Rica- Check. We wanted to go backpacking- Double Check. We wanted lots of time with our family and friends- Check It Up. We wanted to get rested and restored before we enter into another year of chaos- Absolutely Check. It has been good.

And. We wanted to climb a 14er. We got to check that one off this last Saturday.

Now. For any of my friends not from Colorado or not familiar with the glory of 14ers let me tell you- 14ers are mountains that are above 14,000 feet in elevation; there are 54 of them in Colorado and it is kind of a big thing here to try to climb as many 14ers as you can. I grew up climbing them, and this was the first one that Lane and I had done in awhile because our first years of marriage were way out in Georgia far away from anything close to a 14er.

This is our crew at the trailhead at 6:30 am about to begin our way up. Me and L on the right, with his sister and her hubby on the left.

We ran into 5 of these guys on our way up. True, wild mountain goats. So fun!

Capturing the boy as he summits. (And yes, if I was at the top taking his picture as he came up... that means that I SUMMITED BEFORE HIM. My tough Army Ranger is no match for me on the mountains. :) Just kidding. He really could have kicked my bootie if he wanted to, but still. I wear that badge with pride.)

Standing on top of my 11th 14er. SO AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

If you haven't been able to pick it up yet, we LOVE the outdoors. It's a way that we connect to each other, and absolutely a way that we connect with God. These pictures seriously don't do it justice... the view was INCREDIBLE. Being out in nature, and especially on top of a mountain you get such an appreciation with the CREATIVITY and GENEROSITY of our creator, and it makes me appreciate my body and what I have been given. I love being outside because it just shouts to me of a loving God. I love meeting him out there and love experiencing such neat moments and such accomplishment with Lane.

Yes, it was a good good weekend.

The Station

2010-07-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

In the absence of any life-changing thoughts going on in my brain this morning, I thought I'd share one of my favorite essays... I think I first heard (read) it when I was in high school and it struck a chord so I've held onto it and it still means a lot to me. Enjoy~!

The Station

Robert J. Hastings

Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train. Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day, at a certain hour we will pull into the station. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true, and the pieces of our lives will fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering--waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.

"When we we reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. "When I'm 18." "When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes Benz!" "When I put the last kid through college." "When I have paid off the mortgage!" "When I get a promotion." "When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live

happily ever after!"

Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us. "Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24- 'This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.' It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.

So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.

We're back! Physically... maybe not mentally quite yet

2010-07-27T17:58:00.008-06:00

Um, hi.

It's been awhile.

How are you guys?

We got back from camp with our YL high schoolers late Saturday night (early Sunday mornin') and it has taken me a few days to recover. Seriously. I can't do this stuff like I used to.

Especially because I haven't really let myself recover. Sunday was spent at church and then with friends till late, then Monday we had a post-camp lake party at our place complete with tubing and hamburgers. A girl can't ask for more.

So... our week. It was SO fun! So utterly, numbingly exhausting and packed full of awesome stuff. SO life-changing for these kids. And me.

Our relationships were tightened. Faiths were strengthened... and created. Laughter. Oh, the laughter.

It was unbelievable sitting around and talking with these kids. The stories they brought were heartbreaking. And this wasn't a camp for troubled teens or anything, just normal high schoolers. But it is what life is now handing kids these days; they have a lot of hurt. Abandonment, drug addict parents, absent dads, wrong choices, divorces... so we just sat there and listened to them. It is so beautiful to see what actually being heard can do for a person's self-confidence.

Here's our awesome group- the girls rockin the 80s and the boys as the tough men of Braveheart. Anything in the name of a volleyball competition

Me and my man at the dress up dinner

Our group of 30 was just a drop in the bucket of the total group of 500- SO fun!

We make this look good.

And we're off

2010-07-18T08:39:00.004-06:00

Goodmorning, friends!

I hope you have had a FANTASTIC weekend! Ours has been pretty jam-packed, but so fun.

I am going to be out of commission for the next week because we are about to leave for a little trip. More like an adventure.

My hubster runs a non-profit organization called Young Life here- it's a Christian organization that works with high school and middle school students, and college leaders. We are about to head to the beautiful mountains of Colorado with about 500 of our closest high school friends for a week of chaos, laughter, relationships, and absolute STUNNING beauty.

It will be a great time.

It will be EXHAUSTING.

But these kids won't go back home the same. That makes it worth it.

If you're the praying kind, we'd appreciate your prayers for sure!!! Kids will hear about God's love for them in a beautiful setting, process it with their best friends and adults who care about them, and have so much fun their little hearts won't even know what to do with it. Safety, changed hearts, FUN... and sleep for me. ;)

Have a great week, and I'll see you when we get back!

Dear Army

2010-07-16T09:58:00.004-06:00

Thank you for all you have given us, experientially, monetarily, everything. You have expanded our borders.

However, you realized that you overpaid us and are now asking for that money back.

Really? From us, who have given so much to you in return? Can't we just keep it and call it good?

I know you're just trying to keep books straight and there needs to be integrity and all. But really. Ouch.

It's a good thing that we're responsible with our money and pretty much throw all of it into savings so we can handle a thing like this.

However, this hurts. Especially when it's to the tune of $3,000!

I know it's just money. We'll be fine. There are a lot worse things in life and there are so many people in this world who won't make that much in a year or maybe their entire lifetime. It's just money.

But still... that's painful.

Sincerely, respectfully, but also a little bit angry with you,

Sarah

Won't you be my neighbor?

2010-07-14T07:52:00.004-06:00

I love our neighborhood.

It was by total accident (and by accident I mean total, undisputed, so obviously Jesus, non-coincidental awesome set-up) that we landed in this place. We never could have afforded or had the chance to even make a decision to live here. But we stumbled (were sent) into this AMAZING neighborhood, and stumbled even deeper into a very cool cul-de-sac with very cool families.

And just recently, our neighborhood has taken on a new and even more amazing persona. Up till now, we'd all been the neighbors who wave hello when picking up the paper, etc, etc. But one night we all just ended up at one of our houses and started talking about how we need to be in better community with each other.

How it is so easy to just live our lives in our house, shut our garage door, and to just be closed out to neighbors but that there is a much better way.

There is such a higher potential to being neighbors. We could be in each others lives.

Ummmm, hello? Yes please.

So we've started doing Sunday night dinners together. It's so chill. And it is so fun! It's a total inter-generational thing too, which I love. It's intentional. It's life-giving. There's laughter. And wine. :)

For the first time, we are really getting to know our neighbors. And not only as friends, but as an intentional community.

It feels like that's how it is supposed to be.

Something is seriously wrong with me...

2010-07-12T10:25:00.007-06:00

I was prepared.

I had snacks in my purse to prevent unnecessary stops for food.

I had converted my leftover change sitting in my kitchen into cash so that I didn't really feel like I was spending money and could be getting things for free! (Which I know isn't true, but it's easier to live in delusions sometimes.)

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon just begging to be filled with new sundresses and tank tops from cute stores.

And I didn't find a single thing.

I walked into Target, a.k.a. my mecca, and only walked out with ONE thing. And it was a practical thing at that!

One thing. From Target. I strolled through the aisles feeling lost, confused, and helpless.

I just knew I didn't need any of that stuff. Sure, it'd be fun to have and would make me happy maybe for an hour or two, but I just didn't NEED it. Consumerism was kind of making me sick, knowing the conditions that others in the world live in. If they could see my closet, they would freak out. I don't need new things at all! So I didn't buy any of it.

Am I growing a conscience when it comes to shopping? Alert the authorities. Something is seriously wrong with me.

Or right with me. But it was weird.

Beautiful weekend

2010-07-11T09:45:00.003-06:00

I should be hopping in the shower right now to be getting ready for church, but in typical Sarah fashion I am trying to cram way to many things into a non-equal amount of shrinking time.

I made homemade tortillas this morning. Hmmm. Not sure they turned out right; they don't quite look like they did on the lady's blog. I haven't tasted one yet, but hopefully it'll still taste yummy. I'm all about making homemade bread. It's an addiction, really.

The boy is off playing Army this weekend again. So that means that I watched High School Musical 3 yesterday. Cheesy confession- it made me cry. Just a little! My eyes just teared up, I mean. Really.

And that also means that I am going shopping this afternoon. Maybe just to TJMaxx and Marshalls. Bargain shopping so I'm still being fiscally responsible. He'll be proud of me.

In other news, I'm abnormally excited for tomorrow night to get here so I can watch The Bachelorette and see what Ally does. I'm kind of ridiculous.

I really should go now. I just do not love showing up to church by myself and finding a place to sit... by myself... so maybe this is me procrastinating.

I'm going to go clean now.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Backpacking is Favorite

2010-07-09T14:44:00.004-06:00

I'm sitting outside on our back porch, sipping some coffee, listening to people laughing on the lake, staring at the mountains while typing away on my laptop, and trying to be productive yet fighting the urge to dream my afternoon away.

Doesn't get much better than this.

Unless I had a slice of chocolate cake sitting next to me, but other than that.

And also unlimited spending money on clothes.

Anyway.

We had an AMAZING backpacking trip with our friends. Jena and I have been friends since we were in high school, then husbands came along and joined our crew and this was the first time the four of us have spent together. (Lane missed their wedding because he was deployed, then all of the following big events of friends weddings, etc. that we would have done together because he was deployed! Boo deployments!) This made up for any lost time and more though.

They're a phenomenal couple. They're just EASY to be around. Conversation flows, they share easily and ask questions back, laughter is abundant, hearts are shared, struggles talked about... we love them! Couldn't have picked a better couple to join us in exploring the Colorado mountains! It was an adventure to be sure.

As always, it was just GOOD to get away. I feel like L and I have done a good job of enjoying our summer together. Unplug. Appreciate each other. Enjoy creation. Sift through life. Check and re-check priorities. Nature speaks to both of us so loudly that it is hard to ignore what we hear out there.

Even Sophie got to join us on our outdoor adventure! This pic was just from a day-hike after we found our camp, but she had her own little backpack that she carried her own food in. Adorable!

We got hit by a MASSIVE hailstorm, but we all thought it was awesome. Wouldn't be a true Colorado adventure without a little fight from the elements.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Fourth. Fireworks. Fantastic.

2010-07-06T07:57:00.004-06:00

This past weekend was a three-day-long celebration of the fourth for us. I loved every second.

Friday night: Lane and I got some great tickets from my parents to go to a Colorado Rockies game. Brats. Beer. Baseball. Fireworks. Lane. Perfection! (not necessarily in that order). The Rox won, then Coors Field put on one of the coolest fireworks shows either of us have seen. Such a fun date night!

Saturday: Fourth of July parade with the whole fam. Firetrucks, marching bands, politicians, churches, clowns. True small town fashion. Back to the parents house for some bbq, then home to hang out with some friends.

Sunday: Church- which was just incredible. I love our pastor, and he BROUGHT IT this weekend. Then up to Estes Park with friends. More fireworks! And just a little piece of S & L trivia- Estes Park is a super cute little mountain town in Colorado... important because it is where we met in October of our freshman year of college. And then where we spent the first few days of being married in an amazing Bed and Breakfast. Yay Estes Park!

Monday: Because of bad weather in some parts, there were a lot of fireworks shows canceled so we got to do a third show on the 5th! Our neighbors took us out on the lake in their boat and we watched 3 shows at once.

Lane reminded me that he had missed the last 2 fourth of Julys because he was overseas, so it was fitting this year to make it up in a big fashion and see 3 in one year! I agree. :)

I really wanted to get up pictures of our last weekend, but we are on our way out the door (as in- Lane is in the car waiting for me and is so annoyed that I am this addicted to blogging that I have to post one as he's busy packing, packing the car, getting supplies, gear... funny. I'll just let him do all the work!). We're going backpacking for the next few days with some dear friends of ours. Should be super fun!

Hope you guys have a great Tuesday!

Why do we do what we do?

2010-07-05T08:54:00.005-06:00

Anyone else reveling in the afterglow of July 4th on this beautiful July 5th Monday? MMmmmmm. Deep sigh of contentment

This morning I'm putting up an article that I have posted on CinCHouse right now as it seems to fit well in the celebrating of our nation's birthday and honoring the military. It's about the pride of being in the military and why we live the life that it requires. I know not everyone out there is of the military persuasion reading my blog, so if you aren't, maybe it will show you some of military life, and if you are, hopefully it rings true for you too!

:::::::::

Uniforms. Gunfire. Humvees. Saluting. All a part of a typical day.

Some non-military friends came to visit us and since we wanted to give them a taste of the military life, we took them on a tour through post. Of course we had to show them all the cool landmarks like the Airborne jump towers, where Ranger school takes place, and where basic training is held. They were absolutely impressed with all of that, but the aspect of post that they were most amazed by surprised me. The soldiers. The fact that guys just walk around all day in uniform was incredible in their eyes. Walking through the PX and getting to see people sitting in the Food Court, shopping, and getting haircuts in uniform was awe-inspiring.

I think it’s amazing too, but it becomes so normal that I tend to forget that we really are in our own little world here in the military.

If I think about the fact that for my friend, her husband’s job entails going into an office, processing loans, then coming home at 5 p.m., it gets weird. Then it gets especially interesting when I think about my husband’s job and how it entails jumping out of planes and walking through the villages of Afghanistan carrying a weapon.

It’s definitely not the most normal of professions.

If this is such a different life than what many of our friends from home are living, why did we go this route? If this is a lifestyle that requires strength, dedication, commitment, and sacrifice, why do we, along with thousands of others in the nation, choose this? Wouldn’t it just be easier to find a job at a store down the street from our families and call it good? What is it about the military that draws so many different people from so many different walks of life into it?

Why do we do what we do?

So others don’t have to.

Because you make life-long friends.

Because you came from a military heritage and other options weren’t as fulfilling.

Because you believe in the cause.

Because it develops an awareness of the world that you would not have been able to possess otherwise.

Because of the camaraderie created from sharing life with those who are standing by your side through the good, the bad, the funny, and the tears.

Because there is something significant in devoting your life to a bigger cause, to something greater than yourself.

Because you get to see the world and the country.

Because we know that we need to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.

Because we fell in love with a soldier.

Sometimes living a life devoted to the military is as complicated as politics, economics, or family dynamics. But sometimes it is as simple as a love story. There is a powerful purpose in what we do, no matter what the reason is that got us here in the first place.

This is a life-changing profession. I believe for both us and for those we serve. I think that it is impossible to leave the military as the same person you were when you entered it, whether service member or spouse. You get to experience things that you never would have had the opportunity to otherwise. It expands your worldview, forges friendships, and instills pride. It develops compassion, patience, and grace. It cultivates selflessness when you help others in need, and then gratitude when you receive help that you needed too. It changes you.

We could continue to list reasons of why we do what we do. But, there is one very important reason: It matters.

This life makes a difference. And it’s worth it. Sometimes a reality check might come when you look around your post or base and realize that not everyone in America is used to seeing people wear berets, salute officers passing by, or pull to the side of the road to let a patrol pass. But we are the few fortunate ones who get to experience the immense pride that comes from serving. And I am grateful.

It is at the front of my mind constantly, but especially so during times such as these when we just celebrated Memorial Day and the Fourth of July is around the corner. So if military life has just gotten normal for you, pause for a moment the next time you’re on post to look around and truly recognize the importance, the power, and the beauty of what you are surrounded by.

The uniforms. The formations. The soldiers. The Sacrifice. The Pride.

:::::::::::

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

2010-07-04T14:37:00.006-06:00

I know it's not Christmas, but the 4th of July really is one of the most wonderful times of the year!!!

Growing up in small-town America with a parade that would rival any other, a grandpa that was born on the 4th of July and enjoying homemade vanilla ice cream with family on the lake, being a high school history teacher, and traditions of bbq's and fireworks in my heritage, LOVING Independence Day is in my blood. Add in a husband that has been overseas serving on the 4th and it adds up to a very patriotic gal. :)

I hope all of y'all are having a wonderful 4th of July weekend!

Ours has been wonderful- full of baseball, fireworks, parades, family, friends, and food. I couldn't ask for much more.

I'll be sure to post pictures soon, but for today I wanted to share a quick article with you guys about the beauty of our country. Many times I've talked about how much I like the CBS Sunday Morning News program, and this morning Ben Stein had a great commentary on Independence Day. If you have a free 3 minutes, read this and think about how great of a country we live in. One that speaks to the deepest desires of the human heart- freedom and individual dignity. It's good stuff. There's an actual video with him talking, but for the life of me I can't figure out how to embed this correctly; if you click the link it will take you to CBS' page with the article, and the video will be there too if you want to watch that instead.

Here's the link to the article

Happy 4th, friends!

Shenanigans of the mouth

2010-07-01T06:54:00.002-06:00

Remember my trip to the dentist on Monday? Well, I had to go back.

Booo.

I had a cavity. Ugh. This was not my proudest moment. I feel like a failure even just admitting that fact. It was my first one.

Have any of you guys ever had to get a cavity filled before? Well, it's not the most fun way to spend your Wednesday afternoon. She told me I would feel a little 'pinch' and then shoved a needle halfway through my gums.

And my mouth went numb.

Remember my 'Active Salivary Glands' problem? Try getting control of that issue with numb lips. Hah!

So I got the cavity filled. Drilling. Not fun. Then afterward my poor, poor self didn't know exactly how bad the numb lips were all afternoon long. I felt fine, so when I checked out of the office I was my normal chatty self with the receptionist, smiling and laughing.

I then ran errands all afternoon- Kohl's, Target, Wal-mart, Arc Thrift Store, etc... checked out there too and talked to the cashiers there too. My lips felt funny, but I thought it was just me.

Then I came home. Lane was in the kitchen, took one look at me, and burst out laughing. Once he smartened up and regained composure the first words out of his mouth were...

And I quote:

"I would still love you even if you looked like that for the rest of your life."

So I freak out not knowing what he's talking about, but then we both die laughing and of course, have to document the freakishness that was my mouth.

I was out in public like that, people. I am trying to smile here, much like I would have when checking out and smiling with the many people I encountered.

After laughing for a good 20 minutes Lane apparently felt the freedom to again put his foot in his mouth and say:

"You know what, it's actually probably a good thing you don't look like that all the time."

The Calling

2010-06-30T07:43:00.004-06:00

We've now been home from Costa Rica for a little over a month but I still find myself thinking about that trip a lot- laughing out loud at funny stories when I'm all by myself in the grocery store, remembering the beautiful sunsets, digesting even more lessons I learned.

This picture was taken on our canopy tour day. This is how I felt all trip! So fun!

Don't be jealous of the sexy helmet I got to wear.

So anyway, Lane was reading a book while we were there that got me thinking a lot, and I'm still thinking about it. It was called 'Handoff', and part of it talked about your calling versus your career.

Your calling is something that transcends everything; discovering your calling is so much bigger than just a job.

One year ago I would have said that my calling is something along the lines of

:: Educating teenagers in a relevant and loving way::

However, in the absence of a full-time teaching job, I found myself questioning my purpose and therefore my calling. And, in the future when I'm a mom, my calling will change again if I define it by the limited standards of simply what I do.

So right now I'm trying to listen to God and figure out what I my calling is. Who I am at my core. Then orient my life around that.

Educating people?

Informing them of my life through authentic living and instilling change through transparency?

Giving people a bigger picture of the world around them and helping discover their own ways to impact it for the good?

Is is something with using the creativity and power of words to change lives for the better?

Authentic, transparent living?

Loving others?

Living abundant life?

Hmmm. I'll be processing that a bit. Happy Wednesday to you all!

Dentists and Fires

2010-06-28T07:22:00.003-06:00

Goodmorning everyone. It's Monday morning and I am getting ready to go to the dentist this morning. I've never been one to hate going to the dentist so I'm not too worried about it.

I do remember being traumatized maybe 5 years ago or so when one of the hygienists working on me told me that I have "Very active salivary glands."

She politely told me that I drool a lot.

Hello embarrassment. I am always a little worried about that when I'm sitting in the chair. So then when they try to be all chatty and talking to me while 8 instruments are in my mouth I mostly just grunt, not wanting to try to move my tongue around too much which activates my already active salivary glands even more.

The rest of the day will consist of heading over to the gym, grocery shopping, LOTS of laundry, and camping out with my beloved Mac and getting some writing done.

Laundry needs to happen stat because our house currently smells like a campfire. We went camping this weekend with my family: 2 grandparents, 1 7-month-pregnant sister + husband, 1 sister still recovering from Disneyland + husband, 5 nieces and nephews, 5 dogs, and Lane and I. It was interesting. There was a lot of barking. But actually it was really fun. I have a pretty awesome family. And they love me even when I smell like a campfire. What more could you ask?

10 in 10

2010-06-23T09:15:00.000-06:00

I mentioned last week that Gina over at The Shabby Chic Cottage threw out a gauntlet of a challenge to complete 10 tasks in 10 days. I have a secret obsession with lists, so this is right up my alley!

Mission accepted. Operation 10 Tasks is officially in session. Want to join me? Go check it out!

1) Re-do our guest bedroom

2) Put desk (and hopefully sell!) on Craig's List

3) Repaint trunk

4) Clean out garage

5) Weed garden

6) Paint molding in kitchen

7) Reorganize closets

8) Create necklaces

9) Post office packages

10) Work out 10 times

Yay! Is it weird how excited I get about this?!

Tuesday ramblings

2010-06-22T07:45:00.002-06:00

Tuesday morning thoughts:

Slowly but surely I am becoming addicted to The Bachelorette. I had never seen any of the show until the last Bachelor with Jake. I don't like that I like it, but I just can't turn it off! Addicting, I tell you. Casey was weird, Justin I don't love, not sure how I feel about Frank, but I really like Chris L. and Ty. I'm kind of embarrassed I know all of those names. Any other Bachelorette watchers out there?

I wanted to wake up before 6 am this morning and go running before it got too hot. After hitting the snooze button for 45 minutes I just gave into the fact that running isn't going to happen and I might have to to a P90x cardio workout because I don't think I'll have enough time to do a whole gym outting today. That's probably a good thing after my self-imposed 2-a-day yesterday of spinning and then GroupPower (weightlifting class). My body is a bit tired.

I'm getting my haircut today. Probably nothing dramatic, but I am thinking about bangs. Not sure if they'll work for me, but I'm intrigued.

I had weird dreams last night.

I am going to go paint my guest bedroom now which I am super excited about. The big reveal will be coming soon; it's going to be cute!

Hope you guys have a great day!

Unschooling?

2010-06-21T10:57:00.005-06:00

I saw a news piece the other day (and by other day I, of course, mean 3 months ago... ) and it has got me thinking.

Have you guys heard of UnSchooling? It falls under Home Schooling, but is not at all the same thing. It is learning without boundaries, textbooks, classrooms, or formal education of any sort. It's about process, not content (unschooling.com if you want more). Unschooling parents believe that their kids will learn better by setting the rhythms of their own day and learning what they choose to learn rather than by what someone is telling them to learn. I can totally see benefits to Home Schooling... but this isn't that.

I personally just don't get it. My apologies to anyone reading this if they are an Unschooler... maybe you could give me your perspective and the benefits of it. As an educator though, obviously I deeply believe in the purpose, advantages, and transforming power of formal education. The social skills as well as the ABC's. The problem solving abilities as well as the deductive reasoning. The conflict management as well as the memorization. Discipline, work ethic, and yes, fun!

The extra crazy thing to me is that the radical Unschooling parents let their philosophy merge into their parenting style. Laissez Faire to the extreme. The mom in the piece said that there is no judgement in their home. They don't punish because they don't have rules. There are no chores. The kids eat whatever they want, go to bed when they want, do what they want. The kids are responsible for setting the rhythms of their own days.

Really?

Now, I know I'm not a parent yet or anything, but it seems to me that that is the whole role of the parent. Instruct your child in the way they should go... because you're the PARENT. You just might know what they need more than they do. Discipline, mold, teach, instruct, guide. Let there be consequences if they are needed. Set them up for success for the rest of their life. Do what you can to turn your child into a loving, responsible, aware, compassionate individual.

Okay. I'm going to stop now. This whole movement just doesn't make much sense to me. There are over 150,000 families in the U.S. who it does make sense to though. Pretty interesting stuff.

Here is a link to the news piece I saw if you want to check it out yourself.

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/unschooling-homeschooling-books-tests-rules/story?id=10796507

Happy Friday!

2010-06-18T08:19:00.000-06:00

It will be a good weekend on my home front. As opposed to last weekend, which was pretty much a tsunami All Weekend Long, this weekend is supposed to be gorgeous. So you know what that means: Garage Sales!!!

I'm spending my Friday morning assisting my sister do her garage sale and I'm going to keep her two little ones occupied while she is busy making Boku Bucks. Maybe having a garage sale isn't the best way to get rich, so maybe we should define success by the amount of junk we get rid of.

Then. Saturday equals community garage sale galore. It will be epic.

Two fun things I want to share with you today.

1) Do you guys know The Shabby Chic Cottage? She's just the greatest. She put up a post saying that starting on the 23rd she's giving her readers a challenge: The 10 tasks in 10 days Challenge. Hers is a decorating blog so she might be going more for things around the house, but the way I'm defining it for me is that it could be home related, work related, organizing, working out... anything I've been procrastinating on that I might need a little shove and motivation to get it going. If you need the same, this is it! Go check her out and read what the challenge is all about to see if you want to join me in getting things done!

2) Kelly over at Between the Lines has been doing something fun she calls Fabulous Food Fridays where she highlights different bloggers and recipes they've created and this week she's featuring me! She's an awesome momma, a writer, and a great girl so you should jump on over and check out her blog and see the recipe of mine she put up! :)

Enjoy your Friday!

Feeling excited and slightly guilty

2010-06-17T11:04:00.002-06:00

I wasn't going to do a post today because... well, no reason. I just wasn't feeling brilliant.

BUT, one of the to-do's on my list today was take my big ol' box of clothes that has been sitting in our bedroom since the day we moved in (8 months ago!) over to Goodwill.

Let me rewind a little bit.

Anytime before Lane leaves for time away we ask each other what is something that we're most looking forward to about this next {enter time frame here} apart and something we're not excited about. For this 3 week stint. For 2 week trainings he used to have to do at Fort Campbell. For a weekend trip. And yes, even for deployments we would ask what is something good you anticipate and something that might not be so fun.

It might seem like a nerdy little exercise for any who are not external processors like myself, but it helps us (read: me) to process what's coming up, but also for us to acknowledge that we're going to miss each other like crazy but to recognize that life does go on without the other. I can't sit here pining away for him otherwise my days would be miserable and go so slowly, and he can't be moping around missing his wife otherwise he might not perform his job as well as he should. So we ask about sunshine/rainclouds aka highs/lows aka rose/thorns. I like it.

Anyway. The point of this post.

I couldn't admit this to Lane when we were talking, so it is still my little secret, but one of the main things that I was excited about doing while he's gone right now is going through his closet and getting rid of t-shirts that he has had for 10+ YEARS. Seriously. He's still wearing shirts he wore in high school. And he wears them with pride. Despite the faded colors. Despite the gaping holes. It kills me.

I've threatened to do this before but I never could just pull the trigger when he's been gone in the past.

Back to the Goodwill trip today.

I spent last night going through our closet one final time and added quite a few of his t-shirts. Don't feel too sorry for the boy. His t-shirt collection has now gone from 2,572 to 2,540. He has so many t-shirts. FROM HIGH SCHOOL. Any other husbands out there do this or just mine?

I was so excited pulling up to the Goodwill today. I felt lighter already. But then, when I put the bag containing his clothes in I felt this huge stab of guilt. It was done. I actually started laughing out loud at what I just did and probably looked pretty weird to anyone driving by. Crazy lady donating clothes again! Irreversible. I couldn't take them back; they had gone into the abyss of the huge clothing donation window.

Hmmm. I don't know if I'll tell him. Maybe I'll just let him figure it out on his own.

I do feel slightly guiltly.

But it was WORTH IT.

Bedtime buddies

2010-06-16T07:36:00.002-06:00

I really never love any of the time that Lane is gone, but nights are the most not fun of it all. Once the sun goes down and it's dark sometimes gets me a little scared, especially when I'm in bed trying to fall asleep and hearing noises or seeing shadows of trees that I'm SURE weren't there just the night before!

To help me get enjoy these nights a little bit more, I always keep a handy arsenal of books and such in case I need them at a given moments' notice:

I sleep on the right side of the bed and L is on the left, so to take his place I have:

* The remote, in case I can't fall asleep and need Jerry Seinfeld or late-night infomercials to keep me company

* My bible; actually most nights I put my hand on it and fall asleep touching it. I'm a nerd. But it helps

* Relevant magazine; do you guys know Relevant? Very cool mag. Very witty, very thought-provoking, very... Relevant.

* A book called "We the People", a study on the political history of the U.S. Again: Me=Nerd. I love all things history.

* A book called Good News for those Trying Harder written by my pastor

* A book of Celtic prayers

and lastly

* The Catcher in the Rye because I'm trying to catch up on my classics.

This might be a weird thing that I do when the boy is gone, but every time, on that first night I'm walking back to the bedroom prepared with an armful of reading material and entertainment and it stays there until he walks back in the door. Maybe it's to fill space on the bed to it doesn't seem so empty. Maybe it's to keep my mind occupied in the quiet so I don't get lonely. Who knows? Weird coping mechanisms.

My weekend project

2010-06-14T15:28:00.004-06:00

Lane is off playing Army pretty much for the month of June so that equals a lot of movie watching and craft projects for me.

This weekend my movies included It's Complicated (liked, not hilarious, but cute. Good renter), Extraordinary Measures (just could not get into; had to turn it off halfway through and it's driving me crazy not knowing how it ended, but I just did not love this one), and Crazy Heart (Really Liked. Really really liked. Jeff Bridges does great in it and I just think Maggie Gyllenhaal is the cutest). Wow; that is a lot of movies for one weekend. And if I'm honest I watched Capitalism: A Love Story by Michael Moore this weeked too because I was curious about it.

I swear I have real life friends too, and I spent time with them and out of my house this weekend but two reasons for the movie watching: 1) It was pretty much a hurricane here this weekend, all weekend. Movies called my name. 2) I just hate a quiet house while Lane is gone. Music or the TV is on pretty much all the time even if I'm not watching it and just need background noise to cleaning or something. Anyone else out there hate quiet homes while your man is gone?

So anyway, did I tell you about these lamps I found at a garage sale? Despite their retro-fabulousness they stole my heart for a cheap price. The orange though. I just could not handle the orange.

So I went to Lowe's and picked out a sample of yellow paint for 3 bucks and painted them. It's not a crazy life-changing difference, but enough to make me love them that much more. How cool are they!?

Then I got some burlap and cute green polka-dot ribbon for 1/2 off at Hobby Lobby and so non-perfectly glued them onto my lamp. That might take some more work, but they work for me for now! Off to my guest bedroom they go. Which needs a serious transformation. These will help.

Look at sweet Sophie. She just went swimming in the lake. She loves her life here even though I think it is the most annoying thing ever that she can never go outside without chasing the pelicans in the water. Oh, the life of a dog.

Sassiness

2010-06-11T07:11:00.004-06:00

Goodmorning, friends! I love the mornings- the chill that's still in the air, the quiet outside, the prospect of a new day and not knowing what it will hold.

Maybe I just woke up on the right side of the bed; I don't think I'm this chipper each morning. Either way, this is a beautiful morning!

This morning I wanted to share with you something that has revolutionized my week. I only discovered it a few days ago, but I foresee it having lasting power in my life.

It's from the Flat Belly Diet plan. I'm not on it, but they have a drink called Sassy Water. I'd drink it just for the name- how fun! It's supposed to be a drink that kind of kick-starts your diet, reducing bloat, aiding digestion, yada yada yada. I just think it's yummy.

It actually is really pretty and summerish too. If you're hosting a shower or party of any sort, it'd be perfect!

I have to tell you, I was even more inspired to make it after finding this:

Yes, that is mint. In my backyard. I was doing some yardwork the other day weeding and such and came across this. I thought 'Whoa! Those weeds are crazy overgrown, that'll take awhile!' Then, I stepped closer, smelled the beautiful smell, and realized they were not weeds, but were, in fact, mint.

In my backyard. All I could ever want. And that picture doesn't even capture all of it. It is Everywhere. Fine by me. Sassy Water and then some mojitos coming up!

Sassy Water:

2 liters water (about 8 1/2 cups)

1 teaspoon freshly grated ginger

1 medium cucumber, peeled and thinly sliced

1 medium lemon, thinly sliced

12 small spearmint leaves

Combine all ingredients in a large pitcher and let flavors blend overnight.

Drink entire pitcher by the end of each day.

Hope you guys have a great Friday and have some fun weekend plans ahead of you!

Abide

2010-06-10T12:48:00.003-06:00

Things I am good at:

* Planning

* Dreaming

* Organizing

Things I am not good at:

* Letting things be out of my control

* Trusting

* Waiting

I am soo not good at waiting. Zero patience for this girl.

I have a lot of dreams for my life right now. My eyes have been opened up into this whole new world that I so desire to be a part of, and I have been doing everything in my power to enter into it.

And I have... little... by... little. That's what writing for CinCHouse is about. And probably trying to write for more things like that. I love writing. It nourishes me.

So there's this book... that I wrote... and it has my heart and soul behind it. And I deeply believe in it and so badly want it to be published.

And that is what this Spring entailed for me- querying agents, sending in proposals, sample chapters, outlines, and one-sentence-summaries.

Mostly I get rejected. Which is fine. It's part of the business. All of the great authors have "I got rejected 30 times before my book became an international bestseller!" stories. Maybe that will be my fate too? Probably not. But maybe?

However, in early May I got my first non-rejection! They were so interested that this agent (who was my dream agent BTW) asked to see the full manuscript. Which was a big deal in my brain and dream world. Then Lane and I went off to Costa Rica and Every Single Day I thought about that agent reading my book and what she thought. The Second that I could check e-mail, I most certainly did, and.... there it was. The non-rejection had become a rejection. She gave me the whole "we loved your work, gave it great consideration in full-staff meetings, and while I do believe that it is a worthwhile and significant project I don't ultimately feel we are the ones to represent your work"... or something like that. Not like I've memorized that e-mail or anything.

So I was super bummed. BUT- I knew that I had prayed like crazy over this whole process and entrusted it to God when I sent my manuscript off to her over e-mail. So, she just wasn't the one. I'm okay with that. I trust Him.

Then. The Very Next Day, this other agent I had contacted like, 2 months ago, e-mailed to ask for my full manuscript. Seriously? Excitement mixed with hesitation. Excitement. Hesitation again. Maybe some doubt. Wonder.

And he still has it and I haven't heard back. So I'm still querying my little heart away trying to get in touch with other agents out there who just maybe possibly could believe in this as much as I do and see a place for it in our world.

In the meantime I try to sit back and be patient. Believe that there is a plan for me and that this desire and dream won't be wasted. And not chart this process out on my own schedule with a month-by-month checklist of when my Life Plan will come to fruition.

I'm trying to learn the meaning of Abide. Dwell. Just trust, let things happen, and sit on the promises I have been given. Hasn't the rest of my life all pointed to the fact that God really does have my best in mind and things ALWAYS work out better than I ever could have planned them, even if there was some heartache involved in the mix?

There is a Plan. I'm trying to trust that. Believe it, and cling to it.

His secret ingredient

2010-06-08T10:43:00.005-06:00

I have to admit that I am a health-food addict. I'm not crazy psycho about it, but I do love it.

Whole grains, black beans, quinoa, red peppers, and spinach speak to my heart. My mom calls my recipes 'weird' and 'different'. :) They're actually really yummy, but don't typically include cream of chicken soup. I try to limit eating dessert to once a week- I make myself EARN those suckers!

Most mornings I'll make a smoothie for breakfast- the ingredient list:

Organic, nonfat, plain yogurt

Tofu

Pure orange juice

Banana

Frozen strawberries

And protein powder if I'm feeling extra wild

It has taken some time, but I have been able to teach Lane this very complicated recipe. I have entrusted my breakfast to him a little at a time, and some mornings he will take over the breakfast-creating responsibilities.

This morning I went out for a run and before I left he told me that he would make our smoothies while I was gone.

This is how it went down:

I come back in huffing and puffing, grab the waiting beauty of a smoothie out of the fridge excited to replenish my body with some healthy strong stuff.

I get about halfway through and look over at The Boy who is grinning ear to ear.

Me: That make me nervous... What?

L: How's your smoothie?

Me: Delicious...

L: I put a secret in there... ICE CREAM! A couple scoops of it! Isn't it great!

I have no words for this. Apparently we still need to work on what exactly does, and does not qualify as a health food.

Seriously, it was THAT good

2010-06-07T07:30:00.001-06:00

Hi, friends! Happy Monday to ya. Hope y'all had a relaxing, restoring, and fun weekend!

Mine was wonderful.

I don't really have anything of much consequence to share with you, but there were a few highlights that were so unbelievably epic that I feel I would be doing a disservice to not share them.

My Saturday morning had to, of course, include Garage Saleing. Is that a word? My spellchecker says no, but Saling is so wrong as well. You know what I mean. Garage Saling speaks to my heart. The thrill of the hunt. Turning another man's trash into your treasure. For CHEAP! Not knowing what the day will hold... I'm getting carried away just thinking about it.

So we hit up our first one (which was labeled an ESTATE sale, so I was THRILLED, but they deceived me- it was just a normal sale and I was mad at them) and they had okay stuff, but they had doors. As in closet doors. I'm semi-addicted to doors. I'll show you a picture of what I've done with one of them- she's beautiful. I needed more. But they were asking for 5 bucks a door and that was just too much for me because I wanted two of them. I was thinking more like 2 dollars. I'm cheap that way.

So I bypassed them with a broken heart not knowing when I would find a garage sale selling TWO of my beloved doors.

THEN! Last night we were driving back home and I passed by this same overpricing, lying house and the doors hadn't sold so they had them out front with a FREE! sign next to them! The stars aligned, heaven opened up and GAVE ME MY DOORS! I am beyond excited. I made Lane go home, get our bigger car and stuff those two doors in the back like there was no tomorrow.

At first he got annoyed with my FREE! sign loving shenanigans, but now he just accepts it. Many-a-thing have we taken from someone else's Free/trash pile. I'm not afraid.

That was awesome thing number 1.

Awesome thing number 2 was waking up early this morning and going on a long bike ride towards the mountains next to the river in the not-too-hot-early-chill with my hubster. It was gorgeous. I am in love with Colorado deeply.

And church was awesome too. Way awesome.

THEN. I made these:

Yes, my friends. You saw that right. Those are homemade bagels. They are life-changing.

And just to back up that point, read the note that I left on them for L to read when he came home.

It is a true statement.

Never again am I buying bagels from a store.

I made different toppings: parm, onion, garlic, sea salt. Next time I might experiment with the dough more. YUM!

And, the best part is how super easy they are. If you have a bread machine it's best, but a KitchenAid does the trick too.

Here's the recipe of the yummyness if you so dare to click. This is my warning. It WILL change your life.

5 years!

2010-06-03T08:51:00.007-06:00

Today is our 5 year anniversary!

Wow. What a fun, amazing, difficult, loaded, significant, adventurous, life-changing five years we have had together. It's been quite the journey!

In our still relatively young marriage, we have been through some major stuff. Looking at the marriage that we have today though, I am so thankful for the road that we have been on because of the strength that it has given us.

In honor of today, I am going to take you guys on a little picture tour of our relationship:

We met in October of our freshman year of college, almost 9 years ago. I was immediately in love but thought he was way out of my league, so it took 5 months of him chasing after to me to prove that it was me he wanted. Once we started dating, we were done for. Pretty much on our first date we told each other we wanted to marry each other- at 18 years old! We were crazy. It was really fun being able to share our college experience together; we had such an amazing community of friends, were Young Life leaders together, and did all sorts of fun Colorado stuff like tubing rivers, rock-climbing, back-packing, and camping together.

Here we are building our team work on a camping trip at the ripe ol' age of 19!

Fast-forward a couple years. The boy proposed.

He knelt on his knee and said he talked to my dad so I could go pick out a white dress. It's our love story so I just said yes.

I'm quoting T Swift for those of you not tracking... that is pretty much how it went though.

Engagement Pic:

The Big Day: June 3, 2005

After said Big Day, we enjoyed about 2 months of traveling and hanging out before Lane had to report for 5 months of training at Fort Sill, OK. Officer Basic Course is calling our name in this picture. Our entire life was packed into the back of his blazer, and we were hitting the road entering into Army Life. Oh man, I had NO IDEA what I was in for!

The youth. The innocence. The SKINNY people we were back then! So much has changed!

After OBC, we headed off to Fort Benning, in Columbus, GA. I taught high school social studies while Lane did his Army Thing and did it good.

Here's my man after graduating Ranger School. I'm pinning the coveted Ranger Tab on his shoulder. He lost nearly 30 pounds in his 12 weeks there. It was crazy.

Here we are enjoying an EXTRAVAGANT meal before Deployment #2. Maybe 1. Maybe 3? We definitely did not hold back on any of our final meals before deployments. They all blend together. That's what the Army does to ya.

And here we are in the backyard of our house in Georgia for our final day there. Moving to Colorado was the best decision we've ever made. We were very clearly called out of the Active Duty Army... but I do miss Georgia, the Army, our friends, our church, my work...

But... this new life together in Colorado has been good. In the deepest, most significant, fun, sacred sense of the word good.

These five years have held so much for us, it's hard to imagine what the next 5, 20, or 30 might hold! I wouldn't want to journey through any of it with anyone else in this world though- Happy Anniversary, Baby! :)

Happy Memorial Day?

2010-06-01T10:50:00.004-06:00

Today is June 1st. 2010 is now almost half over. Is that weird to anyone else?

I hope you all had a great Memorial Day yesterday. Lane and I spent the day (which was B-E-A-utiful) at a park with my whole family:

I have two great older sisters who married awesome guys and they have awesome kids. L and I are the only ones who have not procreated yet which we sometimes feel sad and left out about. Just kidding. But seriously. Maybe we'll have to do something about that one of these days. Or months.

It was a beautiful, great day.

But after devoting so much of our life and our marriage to the military, it definitely was not lost on Lane & I what the true meaning of the day was. We have countless friends who are overseas right now, and we were home laughing, running, and playing with our family.

In fact, Lane spent our last Memorial Day in Afghanistan.

We know the significance of Memorial Day.

We got in the car and L told me that it was hard for him to hear people at the park exclaim 'Happy Memorial Day!' It's not like Christmas, Easter, or the 4th of July. We celebrate today because of the people who have gone before us, and given their lives on our behalf.

Lane's life was rocked last summer, much like it had been on previous deployments, when one of his buddies lost his life because of a combat mission. He has since exchanged some very meaningful e-mails and face-to-face conversations with that soldiers' mother who has handled that life-changing blow with such grace and dignity. Lane thinks of Ben's mom on Memorial Day... it's not a 'Happy' day for her.

I listened to Lane share his heart... and then I had to confess what I put as my facebook status update yesterday morning:

Happy Memorial Day friends! As we're enjoying family, parks, and bbqs, let us not forget the purpose behind this day and the sacrifices of so many. Thank You!

My heart behind it was right. I didn't want the significance and the purpose of the day to be lost in the ice cream, the hamburgers, and the day off of work. But, hearing a soldier's perspective on the day, my own husband's perspective on the day, helped open my eyes to how easy it is to throw around words without thinking of their impact.

With all of that said, I do hope you all enjoyed your day yesterday. If the meaning was lost in the chaos, that's okay. Take a moment today to recognize the gift that we have been given. It's just like Valentine's Day- showing love isn't limited to only that one day a year. So it is with Memorial Day. Recognize our country, the military, the families, the pride and the sacrifice any moment of any day.

2010-1983=

2010-05-28T13:42:00.002-06:00

27.

27. 27. 27.

Say it with me. Twenty-Seven.

My birthday is not today, it was actually nearly 3 weeks ago. But I think that the reverberations of that shock are still coursing through my veins and I'm trying to process why I was, in fact, shocked to turn 27.

Now, to add a disclaimer, I know that some of you reading my blog are older than Twenty-Seven. Maybe much older? I humbly apologize.

But still.

I FEEL OLD.

I haven't had a birthday where this has happened to me yet. I would have thought that some sort of quarter-life crisis would have hit me at 25, and that would have made sense to me. But no, I had been telling people for a good 5 months that I was 25 when I was still 24. I was excited to hit Twenty-Five. It seemed mature.

It seemed like at 25 I would have everything sorted out, knew my life trajectory and how I would get there.

Um, no.

But still. It sounded wise, classy, prime to me. I loved being 25!

26 came and went without much to-do.

Then. It inevitably came, much like birthdays tend to do.

And I turned 27. Around The Birthday, I was reading a book where the main character was a cute little 25-year-old Miss Thang. She had an attitude, good clothes, good shoes, and boys chasing after her. And it struck me- I'm no longer a cute little thing! I'm nearing middle age! No longer am I a cute little college girl. I might as well already have crows feet around my eyes, a tire around my waist and saggy boobs.

Maybe I'm being a little overdramatic.

It makes me think of that country song "Strawberry Wine" where she goes: I still remember when 30 was old.

And I know that I will look back on being 27 as a beautiful age where I still had everything in front of me, was blessed beyond belief, and actually probably was a Cute Little Thing.

And I guess looking back now I have, thankfully, improved with my age. L tells me that he thinks I am more beautiful (and hot- his word, not mine) than when he met me 10 years ago. We'll see if that holds true in the next ten years, but it's a good reminder that the best is still in front of me and not behind me.

But still. 27? Ayiyi.

Best Invention Ever

2010-05-26T12:10:00.002-06:00

This Wins.

Everyone, meet the Septacycle. Or, it is also known as the Conference Bike for the fact that everyone faces each other in a circle while biking through the streets. You sit in a circle, each person pedaling, but only one person drives the thing.

It was hilarity at its finest. We literally were stopped as we went along so people could take pictures of us and ask questions. It was the Most Fun Ever. It was quite the sight to behold because there were 14 of us so we rented 2 septacycles tearing up the streets of Fort Collins.

This is what I spent my day doing yesterday. Meeting up with a fun group of friends, simply because it was the last Tuesday in May. And we septacycled our little hearts out. All the way to New Belgium Brewing Company.

Then we took a beer tour. And drank free beer. Yum. And Fun.

This is our friend Landon. He's great. We all met each other freshman year of college before L and I were even dating, then he was a groomsman and sang in our wedding. Three Cheers to life long friends!

We have now officially declared the last Tuesday in May SEPTACYCLE DAY!

The best septacycle group a girl could ask for.

Snapshots of my weekend

2010-05-23T12:14:00.002-06:00

L is off playing Army right now. It's a lot easier saying goodbye to him when we've had some quality time than when we're disconnected. Yes, I miss him, but I just got tons of time with him, and anyway, him being gone opens up my free time to do fun things like go to garage sales, afternoon tea with my neighbor, and make crafts!

My tulips are so pretty! Such a fun burst of color in the front yard, too bad they have such a short life.

These ones are just weird. Can you see the weird razor things on them? I've never seen things like this before.

I skipped out on going to church this morning. I just don't love going by myself. Although I've had TONS of practice going by myself, I just wasn't up for it this morning. And I timed my schedule poorly anyway since I got done working out 1/2 an hour before the service started. Which I could have made if I really tried, but it just helped my excuse-loving ways.

So, I listened to a speaker online and made this project while I listened. I love it! I'm going to send them to some of my girlfriends to keep in their purse, by their bed, etc.

Hope you guys are having a great weekend!

Glimpses

2010-05-20T14:08:00.001-06:00

::: I've been wanting to put up some of the things I was thinking throughout our trip because writing things down helps me to process them. For now, I figured the easiest thing would be to just post some of my journal entries that I wrote while down in CR. So, here's a little glimpse into me. That's basically what blogs are anyway, right? :) :::

Beauty. Paradise. Natural. Blues. Greens. Rejuvenating. Restoring. Breathe. Create space. My soul sings. Rhythm. Laughter. Open. Birds. Monkeys. Conversations. Unplugged. Replenishing. Returning. Nature. Uncomfortable. Pleasant. Boundary. Free. Spirit. Truth. Destiny. Needed. Returning. Discovery. Wandering. Being present. Available. Searching. Quenching. Satisfying. Liberating.

Beautiful.

Finding comfort in the stillness. Being soothed by the ocean. Letting the rhythm of the waves dictate my day rather than the hum of my laptop. Learning lessons you can only learn through being immersed in a culture that is not your own. Uncomfortable situations become life lessons. Discovering the joy that comes from being open and available. Not checking the clock to see if we're late for the next meeting. Not caring if the bus driver says 15 minutes before we leave but it's really 1 hour. Not rushing through meals in order to accomplish the next task, and missing out on stories, laughter, and connection instead.

Beautiful.

Creating space.

This is good.

What if we lived like this all the time?

This trip has been good for my soul. It's hard for me to just be. I feel like I always need to be contributing, creating, producing. Multi-tasking. But none of that is possible here. There are no clocks. No computers. Just Lane, Jesus, my book, and the ocean.

So I've been daydreaming. About how great my marriage is. How good, gentle, wild, and loving God is. About how becoming an author is becoming more and more of a deep-seated desire of mine, not just something I do on the side. Who I want to be when we return from Costa Rica. These past five years of marriage and the next five. It's nice to just sit.

Have you ever wondered what heaven looks like?

2010-05-19T07:40:00.005-06:00

I'm pretty sure this is it.

This is on our final night there. The sunset that night was SPECTACULAR. Spectacular.

We went on an 'Adventure Tour', part of which involved hot springs and volcanic mud. LOVED it! They say that it's good for your skin, but I think maybe it was just a good excuse to get disgustingly dirty when you're not 5 years old.

A night out to celebrate an early 5 year anniversary!

Seriously. The waves were massive. Probably 9 feet tall. Ish. You can't see them here, but imagine it in your mind. He boogie boarded on them all day long. And came out laughing after each wave.

What the majority of our week looked like: Wake up, eat, lay by either pool or ocean, get lunch, siesta time, lay by either pool or ocean, shower, dinner, play in the pool. Every day.

To back up my claims of massive quantities eaten. Cast your eyes upon this beauty:

We really did so good lathering up with 50 SPF daily, but despite my shade-loving devotion we still got a little sun kissed as you can see in this picture. What can you do when you're 9 degrees above the equator?

So there's a little glimpse of what my last 9 days looked like. It was the perfect amount of time for us. I think it took the first 5-6 days to truly decompress, heal, and breathe, and then the rest were just an above and beyond gift.

Paradise.

2010-05-17T20:52:00.005-06:00

WE'RE BACK!

There are many, many things that I could say about our trip.

I feel like my soul was singing the entire time we were there. It was intoxicating. It was purifying. It was renewing, beautiful, and life-changing.

It was fun!

Some lessons I learned:

* This was my first time being fully immersed in a different culture. I got in my groove and embraced it all eventually, but I was initially uncomfortable in places I don't understand and felt vulnerable. I felt out of control, but that feeling harnessed itself into growth by the end of the week. It built character, as my mom would say.

* If given the opportunity, I will eat guacamole for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. A diet of burittos, cassadores, and quesadillas is FINE by me.

* Once I get over the initial shock, I can handle showering with crabs, birds, lizards, and monkeys. Handle it, embrace it, and love it, even!

* I like being back in the U.S. where you are allowed to let your toilet paper go down the toilet and not into a trash can next to you.

* My husband and I can laugh and play in a swimming pool for hours. Unbridled laughter. Goofiness with reckless abandon.

* Sometimes silence sitting next to an ocean is more healing than any amount of words.

* Life unplugged is refreshing. The first place we stayed at had no clocks, no tvs, no internet, nothing. The second place at least had clocks, but that was it. I turned my cell phone off when we left Denver, and didn't turn it back on until we touched back down in Denver 9 days later. Unplugging created space for us to breath, to have long, meandering discussions without interruptions, and be available. Available for my husband, for my thoughts, for my God.

* Everybody's body is beautiful and exactly how they were created to be. I spent the three months before we left stressing out about living in a swimsuit and how I would measure up next to all of the rest of the girls on the beach. They would all be supermodels, right? I would, of course, shrink in comparison. However. We got there, and everyone was not, in fact, a supermodel. They were all just regular, normal girls like me. With curves, with beauty. There's not a certain prototype of how you need to look in order to be beautiful. Everyone is.

* I really, really like Costa Rican beer.

This trip stirred up a lot in me. A lot more than I expected, I think. You'll probably be hearing more about it in the coming days. And also, the pictures are coming. It was breath-taking. Paradise- I found it! Maybe a glimpse of it, at least.

Vay-cay time!

2010-05-08T07:58:00.004-06:00

It's here.

Ohmygoodness I can hardly wait.

We leave TODAY for the land known as Costa Rica.

I plan on spending my next week and a half sitting on the beach. Sipping Mai Tais. Reading a few books. Writing. Talking with my hubs. Sipping more Mai Tais. And, of course, eating.

Maybe surfing, though I am pretty scared to try it out. Probably zip-lining through the rainforest. But definitely eating lots and lots of salsa.

I'll be thinking of you guys while my toes dabble in the surf and my feet sink into the sand.

See you when we get back!

525,600 minutes

2010-05-06T08:19:00.003-06:00

What a difference a year makes.

This last year has been a blur. It has been a blink of an eye. It has been life changing.

I find myself staring at the date and getting lost in thoughts. May 6th of last year was a significant date.

It was the day that my husband deployed to Afghanistan for his third and final time. Those days, the days that he left to go overseas, are the worst in my life up to this point. They are days where every sense is heightened yet you are numb at the same time. They are overflowing in emotional significance. They are days where you physically, emotionally, spiritually try to be all-in; be engaged with your husband, and just be in the moment yet are in the thickest of fogs.

May 6th of last year was also spent in the ER.

Not the ideal place to be spending my final hours with L. As things go, when it rains it pours and if something can go wrong, it will. The weekend before he deployed we decided to take a spur-of-the-moment 2 day trip down to Destin, FL to spend some time on the beach.

Well. Something went horribly wrong. We were only out in the sun for 2 hours. We applied sun screen! And yet we both got the worst burns we ever have had, or hope to have, in our whole lives. I got sun poisoning and spent the evening throwing up at the 4 star steak restaurant where we were eating dinner.

And L. Poor, poor L. He got 2nd degree burns over his entire back. Well, fast-forward a few days to Tuesday of that week he was still in the worst pain I had ever seen him in, but he kept trying to tough it out. Wednesday morning, May 6th, we woke up for our final day together (he was deploying that evening) and knew that he had go get medical help. He couldn't sit on a plane for 10 hours heading to the Middle East in the situation he was in. So, we spent our final day in the ER; he got steroid shots, burn cream rubbed on him, and was instructed to find his closest buddy that was going over with him to rub the burn cream on his back for the next 10 days.

That's male bonding if I've ever seen it. Thanks, Dan. You're a true friend.

And all of that led up to the hardest deployment we experienced. It was a doozy.

So I see May 6th and I am catapulted back to those memories. To the ER. To those awful goodbyes where you kiss one final time and watch them walk away not knowing when, or if, you're going to see them again. To news releases detailing offensives and accounts of how our friends died. To phone calls from my husband and hearing how broken he and his guys were but knowing they couldn't deal with it because they had to go back out on a mission to the same area in a few hours. To questioning God, battling doubt and fear. To finding hope even in the dark. To reunion and knowing we made it through.

And now, those are memories. We see each other in the mornings. I normally see L in clothes that don't have the letters A, C, or U in the title.

We pray for all of the soldiers that are over there right now and I am in awe of their sacrifice.

What a difference a year makes.

Oh my.

2010-05-05T17:05:00.007-06:00

Have I been doing a lot of food posts lately? Sorry. But I do love me some food.

I try to be aware of having varied posts and subjects each week, so sorry if this is just one too many yummy recipes.

But this one. This. One. Is so good.

I heard about this recipe about 4 years ago when I was going through my FoodNetwork stage. It was nothing but Paula, Giada, and Rachel for me. Seriously. We had just moved to Georgia and I had no friends so I adopted those three as my besties.

I've since grown and matured and moved on to HGTV but don't tell Giada.

The Matriarch of Goodness. The Mother of all that is Unhealthy. Paula Deen herself showed me this recipe 4 years ago and I have never really felt like I had a reason to make so much decadence.

But tonight was the night. We were having our YL college leaders over for dessert, so who better to pawn off a new recipe that might or might not make their stomach explode with sugar overload than starving college students?

It was a smashing success.

Here it is if you'd like to try it out yourself!

Chocolate Bread Pudding

1 lb loaf French bread cut into cubes

3 cups milk

1/4 c heavy cream

1/2 c coffee flavored liqueur

1/2 c granulated sugar

1 c packed brown sugar

1/4 c cocoa powder

1 T vanilla extract

2 t almond extract

1 1/2 t ground cinnamon

6 eggs, slightly beaten

8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees

2. Grease a 13x9 baking dish and put the bread cubes in

3. Whisk the milk, cream, and coffee liquor (aka liquid gold) together. You better believe that I poured a little Kahlua in the measuring cup, a little in my mouth, a little in the cup, a little for me...

4. In another bowl, combine the granulated and brown sugars with the cocoa powder and mix well. Add this to the milk mixture and whisk to combine.

5. Add the vanilla and almond extracts and cinnamon to the beaten eggs and combine. Combine the egg mixture with the milk mixture and mix well. Stir in the chocolate chips.

6. Pour the mixture evenly over the bread cubes ; let stand, stirring occasionally, for at least 20 minutes.

7. Bake the pudding for 1 hour or until set.

And if you thought we were done, we most definitely are not. Because of this:

Let's say it all together: The Cream Sauce.

The immense yummyness that gets poured over the chocolate bread pudding. You don't have to use this, but believe me, you want to.

What you need, should you choose to accept:

2 cups heavy cream

1/4 cup Irish cream liqueur (I used my Kahlua again)

1/4 cup sugar

3 T cornstarch

Water, to dissolve cornstarch

1 t vanilla extract

Heat the heavy cream, liqueur, and sugar. Mix cornstarch with about 3 T water. Stir into the cream mixture and heat until thickened. Add vanilla.

Serve over bread pudding.

I just dare you to let this melt in your mouth. Mmmmmmm.

Have a great Wednesday, y'all!

For the love

2010-05-04T19:09:00.004-06:00

I'm not even pregnant and I get serious chocolate chip cookie cravings.

It's bad.

And, I'm not one to brag, but I make just about THE best chocolate chip cookies in all of creation. I know that's a big statement, but I'm prepared to back it up.

They're chewy. They're gooey. They change your life.

Cast your eyes upon this:

And this, friends, was my dinner tonight.

It's not accidental that there's a travel book to Costa Rica sitting next to my cookies. It was out on our counter anyway, but then I found it so humorous that I had to include it in the picture.

Who in their right mind prepares for a trip to the beach and world of swimsuits by eating cookies?!? It's Tuesday. I leave Saturday.

I can't stop myself.

And now, for no reason at all except it's pretty, here is a picture of my sunset last night.

Beautiful. I try to just drink it in each and every night.

Why I oughta

2010-05-02T21:30:00.004-06:00

Apparently, our local newspaper needed some help. Their 'Adventure' section was trying to add some spice, or something like that, to their weekly spots and they had requested for people to send in pics of them out and about being adventurous and everything.

I don't really read the newspaper (I choose to get my news from such elite, credible sources like E News!, Kelly Ripa, and Jon Stewart).

Just kidding.

But seriously.

I digress. With me not reading the newspaper, I had no idea about them needing to send in pictures. But my husband did. He read that plea for help and immediately thought of our recent trip backpacking through Utah and thought that it would be brilliant to send in pics of us being hardcore romping through the Great Beyond of the canyons of Utah.

He also thought it would be brilliant to keep this from me.

So, while I was at work on Friday I got a text message from this sweet hubby o' mine saying that there was a surprise for me in the Adventure section of the paper so go see it as soon as I get the chance.

Curiosity had the best of me, so as soon as my planning period started I raced over to the teachers' lounge where they keep about a gagillion copies of the paper and I flipped open to the Adventure section and saw...

THIS:

Of course, the shot that got chosen was not only of just me, rather than both of us, but of that beautiful backside of mine.

Awesome. He doesn't know when, he doesn't know where, but I vow that I will have my revenge on him.

The rhythm is gonna get you

2010-04-30T10:18:00.002-06:00

I heard someone recently mention the phrase 'the rhythm of life.' It was during an evening meeting that L and I were having with some close adult (I know I'm an adult, but they're really adults!) friends as we were explaining the state of our hearts as of late; overcommitments, feelings of being burnt out, not connected to each other, etc.

One of the women, a wise wise woman, mentioned that phrase and it has been brewing in my mind this whole week. She said that the rhythm of life that L and I had developed here was unsustainable. We were exhausted because in our attempts to carve out a life for ourselves here and to always create time for others here, something else had been lost.

Rather than having a melody, a rhythm that works together and moves with the ebbs and flows of our life, it had just become noise. We had lost the joy, the balance, the peace.

That is what has been simmering through my mind. I've been turning the words over, chewing on them, working them out.

It's so easy to just fill your life. To always say 'yes' to obligations, to always put others first before myself or my marriage, to do things for the sake of doing them. But that was a rhythm that wore me out, was unsustainable, and unrealistic.

And most times what fills our life isn't bad. It's even good, in fact. But there wasn't a balance within it. There wasn't a rhythm. L and I hadn't gotten time together (in the form of a date, significant conversations, etc) in a month. We both were neglecting ourselves and our relationships with God in order to spend time with others in helping to construct their own lives and faiths. We were addicted to our jobs, both of us work two. We weren't allowing ourselves grace, room to breathe, space to process the transition our life has gone through in these last 6 months.

We had lost sight of what is best. Of what is most precious. Things had been sacrificed without our even being aware of it. So it took us losing our rhythm of life to discover we wanted it back. It took us reaching boiling point, emotional exhaustion, to acknowledge that life was off kilter.

So I'm trying to rediscover my rhythm. To bring a pace, a balance, a beauty to my life that is restoring to me, life-giving to others, and loves my husband well. I'm trying to sift through what is worthwhile and what is simply noise. I'm trying to create space. To still give my life to others, but to give it to God and my husband more.

There is rhythm. There are ebbs and flows. There is beauty within it all... if we focus on not just 'getting through it', but living it and enjoying it.

The Room

2010-04-27T21:30:00.004-06:00

The house that we're living in right now is incredible. It's also a bit retro-fabulous. I mean, throw-back 1974 stuff everywhere. There is wood. Oh my, the wood.

I wish you could transport yourself into this picture to be looking at this in real life. The picture doesn't do justice to the hue of blue that was this room. It hurt my eyes. Literally, neon blue.

So this weekend I decided to do something about it. It was a loooooong process- notice all of the wood detailing?

This room now makes my heart smile every time I walk into it.

I also don't know why this picture seems to be glowing. But that's neither here nor there.

Also, things of note in this picture: my beautiful black chest that I redid in this project. Seriously. Isn't she gawgeous!

And. And! The beautiful sheflara plant on the left side of the picture. I have now officially owned that plant for 3 1/2 months without killing it. It has even grown, and thrived under my care so much so that I had to repot it. Don't even get me started on how proud I am of myself for successfully repotting a plant. It's kind of a big deal. I'm making big strides in the journey toward parenthood- I can keep a live plant!

Monday, Monday (Sha la, sha la la la)

2010-04-26T16:36:00.003-06:00

My day:

5:30 am- got a call about a sub job. You better believe I turned that one down faster than you can say 'Dazed and Confused.' After a weekend like the one I had, there is a deep appreciation for being able to say 'Nope, I'm just not going to work today.'

6:58- my real alarm went off, and I turned it off in my sleep-deprived, comatose state

8:34- woke up for real. I never sleep in that late. It. Was. Glorious.

10- Thought about working out, but instead played on the internet and caught up with my favorite blogs. Learned about more people getting book deals... instant reaction: extreme unbridled happiness and pride for them because I know the hard work and passion that goes into getting a book deal. Reaction that came after 6 seconds: pure jealousy, coveting, and wishing it were me... my heart is a dark place, my friends.

11- Finally got around to letting Tony kick my bootie in plyometrics.

12-3- Ate lunch, ran errands, took sweet Sophie to the dog park

But just now was my very favorite part of the day... I got a blog award! Manda at My Explosive Life gave me a Sunshine Award!

(p.s. After how long it took me to figure out how to put the darn award logo into my blog I was thinking how I might not deserve a blog award, after all. Thankfully, these awards are for writing and not for internet blog technical prowess!)

Anyway, now for the rules of the blog award...

1. Put the logo on your blog or within your post.
2. Pass the award onto 10 bloggers.
3. Let the nominees know they have received the award by commenting on their blog.
4. Share the love and link the person who gave you the award

After much thought and careful deliberation, the awardees are:

1. Anne @ seven-twenty

2. Amy @ seat belts and sippy cups

3. Kel @ between the lines

4. Katrina @ sevin family

5. Kalleen @ at second street

6. Melissa @ completely eclipsed

7. Brooke @ polka dots and ric rac

8. Sara @ the breathing post

9. Chrissie @ chrissie's corner

10. Julie @ julie the army wife

You guys are great! Have a great Friday!

TGIF

2010-04-23T16:43:00.004-06:00

Whew. What a week!

Last night at 10:30 I got a craving for one of my delicious homemade granola bars. I had to make them. Technically, my sister gave me the recipe, but that won't stop me from claiming them as mine.

Make them. Love them. Devour them.

I say that they're healthy. Ignore the sugar when you're pouring it in. Claim it as health food.

So, because it's Friday. Because Tim Tebow got drafted to the Denver Broncos today. And because these are Incredible. Here are:

Sarah's Yummy Homemade Granola Bars!

The Cast of Characters:

3/4 c brown sugar

1/2 c sugar ( I used more like 1/4ish and it turned out fine)

8 oz yogurt

2 egg whites

2 T vegetable oil

2 T milk

2 t vanilla

1/2 c flour (I did half whole wheat, half all-purpose)

1 t baking soda

1 t cinnamin

1/2 t salt

3 c oats

1 c dried fruit (Craisins were in the pantry)

Step One: Mix sugars, yogurt, egg whites, oil, milk & vanilla. Mix well.

Step Two: In another bowl mix flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Add to yogurt mix.

{Sometimes I forget to keep taking pictures along the way...}

Step Three: Stir in oats and fruit.

Step Four: Spread doug on bottom of ungreased 13x9 pan

{note: you can use a 13x9, but I feel like they come out too cake-y that way so I just spread them out on a baking sheet and I like the thickness more}

Step Five: Bake at 350 for 28-32 minutes. 30 is the magic number with my oven.

Portion for my company:

Portion for me!

Reality Check

2010-04-22T17:31:00.004-06:00

Hi, friends.

I'm writing today with a heavy heart... and I thought twice about writing. Blogs aren't supposed to be debbie downers, are they? They're supposed to be fun, funny, inspirational, right?

But then I realized that the whole idea of blogs is to share life with people. To get glimpses into others, and allow others into mine. That's what doing life together is all about, isn't it? Life is a beautiful, wonderful thing but there are times when your heart aches within that beauty.

I think that most of you guys know our story, but basically the military is our history. L and I spent the first five years of our marriage building it within the framework of deployments and goodbyes as L served with a unit stationed out of Fort Benning, GA. Last fall, he got out of Active Duty and transitioned into the National Guard which allowed him to pursue his dream job with a Christian organization that works with high school students.

It has been a beautiful 7 months of transition, but a difficult 7 months of transition at the same time. I'm not sure that either of us ever fully dealt with the magnitude of the career switch that we were making. We love this new life, but it can be exhausting. I think we do miss the military and that community. I think that both of us had been on 'survival mode' for so long that the thawing process has taken some time, and that has been happening in conjunction with a cross-country move, new jobs for both of us, new friends, new life, new identities. New everything. I think that both of us are feeling a little burnt out right now, a little out of sync, and already are carrying heavy hearts.

Anyway, all of that to say, I don't want this post to be about me. It's just a bit of a background into the state of my heart when we got the news we did a few days ago.

The unit that Lane served with is deployed right now (which is just surreal to me... all of his buddies are overseas right now... he would have been with them right now had he not gotten out...).

They lost a great guy this last weekend. His name was Sergeant Jimmy Patton. I honestly didn't know him super well, but had been around him enough for this to still break my heart. My husband was friends with him. My dear friend's husband was his workout partner. He was married and had a little baby girl.

What do you do with that? Ugh. Sometimes it all seems like too much.

I believe in our military. I love our military families and my sweet military friends that we have served alongside with. The selflessness that goes into it is incredible.

I grieve for his family. For his buddies that are still overseas that continue doing their missions against the enemy despite being broken themselves. I ache at the knowledge that this just isn't the way things were supposed to be.

And I remind myself that we are asked to enter into these broken places, these hurting and dark places, and bring whatever slivers of light and life we can to it. This world hurts. But there is hope.

And I think that right now that is all I can cling to- hope within the heartache.

#1!

2010-04-18T08:42:00.003-06:00

I have a confession.

I am unbelievably competitive.

Ridiculously. Unabashedly. Over-the-top, no-logic, passion-driven, must-be-#-1, competitive.

I don't know where it comes from. Scratch that; it must be, at least in part, from my family. We did, after all, have a 'Smartest Daughter Competition.'

You read that right. I think it was over Christmas one year and we were up at our place in the mountains and bored one night. So, of course, a game had to be thought up. The husbands and my dad thought of 10 questions each (2 in the 5 categories: history, politics, pop culture, geography, and math), which we then answered as fast as we could. I WON!

And then, there is always the game we play in which we see who can make my dad laugh the most. It's funny because he doesn't know about the game so we just try to be witty, make him laugh, and keep the mental scorecard.

However, this is where my confession comes in. The other day L and I were babysitting a 5th grade girl for the weekend and were playing on one of those balance games where you're on a board that can roll from side to side. I don't know the name, but do you know what I'm talking about?

Anyway, I was balancing on the board and DOING AWESOME! We were timing who could stay up the longest and One minute ticked by, Minute Two ticked by... I was coming up on the time that this 5th grade girl had reached... I was going to BEAT HER!

Well, she knew this so got in front of my face and starting making funny faces and tickling me to make me lose my focus and fall off. Which I did. Man, oh man, was I mad. I seriously had to walk away when she started celebrating at how she won so I wouldn't start trash talking a 10-year-old! It was rigged, Becky! You didn't really win!

Then I had to catch myself. Seriously, Sarah? You're pouting about losing to a kid?!? That's just wrong. I'm ridiculous.

Apparently though, I didn't learn because last Wednesday L & I were hanging out with our high school students and playing this ninja game which might sound nerdy but in all reality is a blast. One of the boys pulled a really cheap move, basically CHEATED, in order to get me out. So I got out of the game without getting even close to winning.

Ohhhhh, I was not happy.

I had to repeat the mantra 'You're a leader here. It doesn't matter. You're a leader here. It's not a big deal... leave it! It's GOOD to let them win.' I have some work to do on this heart o' mine.

It's a disease.

I am from

2010-04-16T06:22:00.001-06:00

Happy Friday, friends!

So I discovered a poem tucked away that was titled 'I am from...' that I must have written 10 years ago. I loved reading it, but decided to re-write it because I am now 'from' more things than I was back then and I thought it would be a neat exercise to discover what has shaped me up to this point in my life.

I heard (read?) someone say something along the lines of: How do you know where you're going if you don't know where you've been? I think there is such truth to that, knowing your story helps to guide you on your journey.

Though this is a bit of a departure from what I've been doing the past few Fridays in My Favorite Things!, I still thought this would be fun. I think that I wrote the poem in my high school creative writing class... it might have been my original idea, it might not have been. I might have written it in college? Maybe? It is rare that I have a completely unique and original idea, so if this isn't my idea, I apologize! Still... think about where you are from... and where you are going...

i am from…

i am from a family of five who grows closer each year and two older sisters who i idolized

i am from small-town heritage, 4^th of july parades, neighborhood summer tag, and walks to the pond

i am from the wilderness: climbing 14ers, camping, rock-climbing, and skiing

i am from a dedication to marriage, to pursuing dreams, and to selfless giving

i am from the oak ridge boys, john denver, and peter, paul & mary

i am from finishing two triathlons and craving more finish-line moments

i am from the history channel, questions, and an insatiable quest for knowledge in books

i am from unconditional love, and learning how good my jesus is

i am from a devotion to education; sisters, aunts, moms, and grandmas charting my path to teaching

i am from tradition; walking on feet, drawing names, family dinners, family summer vacations to the old swimmin’ hole, and bedtime tuck-ins

i am from marrying the boy who stole my heart when i was 18 years old

i am from supporting a husband who served 4 years in an army special operations unit

i am from 3 deployments and countless other goodbyes, and knowing the middle east more intimately than i ever thought i would

i am from seasons of heartache, doubt, and worry only to be conquered by love, faith, and the knowledge of what hope is

i am from 5 years of being married to my best friend, discovering how life-giving and fun marriage is, and the hope of beginning a family with this man

i am from finding my gifting and passion in teaching, nominations of best teacher awards, only to be taken down new paths without teaching into writing

i am from life-long friendships, both new and old

i am from fighting for peoples’ hearts

i am from ‘love wins’, good stewardship, and knowledge that everything is spiritual

i am from challenge, discovering my backbone, growth, and redemption

Update

2010-04-14T07:50:00.003-06:00

Friends. Just wanted to let you know that L & I are now 24 days away from Costa Rica. 24. Glorious. Days. Away.

My brain can't comprehend much more beyond that fact so that is what I will leave you with.

Happy Wednesday!

Oh, Happy Day

2010-04-12T08:03:00.003-06:00

L has been gone since Thursday doing his Army thing. The days seemed to go by super slowly and I was a little bummed. But, secretly, I was a little bit excited because that meant that I could go out for my first garage sale shopping weekend of the season! He probably would have joined me if he were home, but he just doesn't get it. The thrill of showing up to a house not knowing what it holds. Finding treasures for a buck a piece. It's brilliant!

I found some fun things on Saturday, and they have already been placed in my home. See those 3 tree things? 4 dollars for the set. That super cute green table thing? 2 bucks. I'm thinking about painting it maybe sometime, but not sure. I kinda like it. The birdhouse? 50 cents. That definitely needs to be painted.

And then I got this awesome vase. Love it!

In other news, we don't have a fence for our backyard, so I got a tie-out to hook Sophie up to when we're playing outside this summer. It came with a stake that you hammer into the ground, and the stake had this warning:

Can you read that? It says that the warranty does not cover abuse, misuse, or an act of God. What? An act of God? Funny. I'm pretty sure that if there ever were an act of God, the stake in my backyard is the last thing I'll be worried about.

Favorites!

2010-04-09T14:30:00.000-06:00

This week! My favorite things!

My discovery of this girl and this project. She is incredible. Hop on over. Meet her. Know her. Love her. She is super creative and crafty and I want to do what she does. I think I need to head over to my local ARC Store and buy all things old so that I can create some treasures.

Favorite thing #2 is simply the fact that I was able to turn in my 6th article for CinCHouse. This job fell in my lap with the greatest of ease (coincidence? I think not. Thanks, Jesus!) yet for some reason I still find it hard to believe that this is actually my life! I love writing. I love CinCHouse. I love writing for CinCHouse. I love the hope that my words are able to help others and bring life to dark places.

# 3 of the week is that my house has been filled with people nearly every day this week. We were given a gift in the house that we're able to live in right now, and I completely believe that if we were blessed with this much space, it's meant to be used. For us, that means people feeling like it's their own second home. For it to be a safe space that they can walk in the front door, open the fridge, and start chatting with us. And we're on the way to that. It's fun.

Favorite Thing #4 was this discovery. It was funny. This girl is not allowed on our couch. I have gotten home many times and had a sneaking suspicion that she had been on the couch, but have never caught her red-handed. Red-pawed? However, yesterday I got home and CAUGHT her! She was completely asleep, dead-to-the-world, so I had to get photographic evidence to prove her guilt.

It's par-tay time!

2010-04-08T09:13:00.004-06:00

I've never been one to turn down a party invitation, so when I learned that the nester was having a mantle link-up party, I had to come along!

To preface this, my mantle is weird. It's not a mantle so much as a collection of rocks. This is a rental house though, and perfect for us for the time being, so I'm workin' with what I got.

Notice: the glimpse of the beautiful armoire to the right that my sister-in-law gave me. In exchange for a night o' babysitting, but seriously. It's beautiful.

My ragamuffin garland, O how I love thee.

I'm semi-addicted to old windows. This is just one of many to be found throughout my house... all found for cheap or for free at garage sales, junk yards, piles of trash... there is no limit to my dedication to finding treasure.

See the stones that stick out that comprise my 'mantle'?

I'm not sure if you can tell from the pictures, but the walls in the room are aqua. As in, circa 1981 neon blue. Also, this house very much has a 1970's retro feel with the window treatments, giant floral wallpaper as well as the choice of paint colors. I recognize the gift of us being able to live here practically for free, but I also have been dying to redo the place. I was hanging out with the lady who owns our house yesterday and finally got up the guts to ask her if it was okay if I did a little painting and re-doing for her... and she gave me the go-ahead!

Prepare yourself to be amazed, my friends. The before and after pics will be Epic. Tobacco Road paint, here I come.

It's that time again

2010-04-06T19:30:00.004-06:00

So, remember my love of all things organized? Well, I love all things clean too. Not always do I love the cleaning process, but sometimes I get crazy and that happens. I love the finished product enough to keep me truckin through the chores I don't enjoy at least.

I am a clean person. However... imagine the cleanest person you know, multiply that times 1,876 and you will have my husband. He is a freak. He is OCD about it in the most loving sense of the word. It is not beyond him to, after I have already cleaned the kitchen, call me back in and show me the spots I did not get on the counter. If I don't fold his shirts the 'right way' when doing his laundry it is not beyond him to re-fold them. He is constantly teaching me the 'best' way to pour/fold/wipe/put away/get out.

So, it is with appreciation for my husband that I am going to be cleaning our house this week. Spring Break used to mean beaches, friends, and doing a whole lot of nothing in my college days. Now Spring Break means Spring Cleaning. Ugh. I feel like such an adult.

Just in case there's anyone else out there who is in spring cleaning mode, I'm putting up a list of what I'll be doing as well. It'll be fun- we'll be cleaning buddies!

Spring Cleaning Checklist 2010, baby!

* Clean out Fridge and Freezer. Take out contents (put in a cooler if needed) and wipe down with a solution of 2 Tbs baking soda per 1 quart hot water.

* Move fridge forward and clean underneath it

* Clean microwave. Put a microwave safe bowl with water and lemon juice and heat it to boiling (2-3 minutes) ; the steam will loosen particles and the citric acid will cut through the grease.

* Scrub kitchen appliances, cabinets, and backsplash

* Take cushions off of couch and vacuum each part

* Bring cushions outside and hit (is there a more technical term?) to freshen and loosen dust

* Dust bookshelves. Remove books and decorations from each shelf to get every space

* Wipe down walls and baseboards with a mild soap and warm water mixture (make sure wall paint can handle water)

* Vacuum or dust blinds and curtains, ceiling fans, and crannies to get rid of dust and cobwebs

* Replace cold-weather clothing in closets with warm weather wear

* Put any clothes you haven't worn in at least 1 year in a Goodwill pile

* Go through toiletries and make-up and toss anything too old

* Remove lint from clothes dryer hose

* Re-stock first aid kit

* Reseal grout

* Deodorize carpets: Sprinkle about 1 Cup of baking soda or cornstarch per room. Vacuum after 30 minutes

* Clean windows and window screens. Windex always works wonders, but here's another solution: 2 tablespoons cornstarch, 1 cup white vinegar, 1 gallon warm water; Mix the ingredients in a bucket and use to scrub windows.

* Organize files in home office. Make sure policies, contracts, etc. are in place and up to date.

* Scrub bathrooms

* Clean gutters

* Sweep/Dust/Mop floors

Okay, that's good for me. It's time to get cleaning!

5:1

2010-04-05T18:22:00.006-06:00

Happy Day After Easter, everyone!

We had a wonderful weekend hanging out at my parents' home, and then celebrated the big festivities on Sunday at my sister's house with all of my family and extended family. These get-togethers are super fun because all of my cousins and sisters (notice I wasn't added in this sentence... hmmm. Maybe sometime soon though...) are in baby-making stages of life so there are tons of little ones EVERYWHERE at these things. It's adorable. And fun. And chaotic.

Even though it's Spring Break (#2 for me! One for UNC and another for District 6 schools!), my brain still feels a little fried. I think it's still in recovery stages from my busy previous week in addition to the weekend. All that to say, I have no original thoughts to post on here today. So instead, I wanted to mention something that has been brewing in my mind for the last 2 months or so. I saw this on one of my favorite news programs (CBS Sunday Morning News) on Valentines Day and figured that now is as good a time as any to post it considering I'm a full 60+ days late on this.

There is this man named John Gottman; he's a smarty-pants psychology professor and marriage researcher. He knows relationships. He's an author. I like him. He found the key to successful marriages and that it can even be expressed mathematically. The key WASN'T not fighting. It wasn't always having peace, keeping hurts from each other, or the absence of conflict. Those happen. They have to happen for it to be a healthy marriage.

Gottman's key to a healthy relationship is the 5:1 ratio: There need to be FIVE positive interactions for every ONE negative interaction.

What's a negative interaction? It can be anything from criticisms to picking fights to getting defensive to withdrawing. It can be rolling your eyes or shutting down and not talking. Anything that doesn't give life to your relationship.

Positive interactions? A squeeze on the shoulder. Laughing at a joke. Giving a compliment on how they look that day. Saying thank you for a chore they did. Anything that shows appreciation for the other.

It's not that there can't be negative interactions- rough patches, complaints, fights- those are inevitable when you share life with someone. It's just that for you to have a healthy, stable, vibrant relationship there needs to be 5 more good ones.

I think that appreciation is key. These last 5 years with my hubby has developed an appreciation for him more than anything I could have dreamed of. I'm so thankful that I get to share life with him; he's pretty great.

Gottman might be onto something: a key factor to the success of marriages is the 5:1 ratio. It sounds right to me, it sounds beautiful and life-giving to me. And I figure, it can't hurt anything, so why not be super focused and aware of trying to have more positives than negatives?

And just because I'm feeling like it, here's a picture of me and my boy moments after we got engaged in September 2004. L took me on a hike up to this beautiful summit overlooking Fort Collins and surprised me with wine and cheese waiting at the top right at sunset. Amazing, amazing! I'd say that was a pretty positive interaction.

Favorite Things Friday

2010-04-02T06:00:00.001-06:00

Hello friends!

I am sure that you were waiting with baited breath for my second edition of Favorite Things Friday! I LOVE Fridays with all of their goodness and especially because they're Friday Follow days!

Favorite Thing One: This week the winner goes to....

THIS project:

The idea came from my friend Brooke who got it from this awesome lady...I think. That was all awhile ago and I'm just now getting around to it, but it's super fun and super cute wherever it came from. They did it with picture frames (brilliant) but I got crazy and used a set of drawers. I have loathed that piece of furniture for years now.... BUT after this project it has all changed. It now has a prime spot in my home and receives much love. This project changes things, people.

Honestly, when I first painted this thing I had hopes of it being a beautiful accent piece in my home... little did I know that it would be NEON blue and blind eyes if stared at too long. It needed to go.

Basically, this is to make things look Shabby Chic. AKA beautiful, in my book. Because

seriously, look at that color. NOT beautiful. This is to make it look old, worn,

distressed, and loved over many years. So you take some candle wax and

rub it over the areas that would have got most banged up over the years. The wax

prevents the paint from really sticking and makes it easy to

get off with sandpaper.

I'm nearly 100% certain that I did not do this step right. But hey, it works. It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful, huh Nester lovers?

Step Two: Paint your piece whatever color your little heart desires. Let it dry, then take some sandpaper and rub on the areas where you had put the wax and it will come right off leaving the color you had underneath.

Step Three: After re-applying wax to your sanded areas again, paint your final coat (you can do 2 or 3, whichever works best for you) and let it dry. Then, take some sandpaper and re-sand around your choice areas; it can be as much or as little as you want to get the look you want.

Step Four: Admire and adore your new work of art.

Step Five: Fall in love with the fun knobs you found at Hobby Lobby to take the place of the previous ugly one.

On to Favorite Thing Two:

This was inspired by this post by a New York Times columnist. I think it might be something in the water of the blogosphere, but there are a lot of people talking on the discussion of what were the most influential books in there life. And it got me thinking: What books have shaped me? All the other blogs excluded major religious texts, so I followed along the same lines and thought of books outside of the bible for me.

I love this topic. I am a voracious reader. Any others out there? At any given moment in time I am reading at least 2, if not 3, books. Currently, it's The Power of One, Hinds' Feet on High Places, and The Far Pavillions. Normally there is at least one super interesting non-fiction in the mix, but these are my three for now.

Books have always shaped my life. Early on it started with being tucked into bed by my dad throughout elementary school and reading Nancy Drew mysteries together. I was even on the Battle of the Books team in 5th grade and we won for our county! I wear that badge of honor with pride.

Next it was seeing the worlds created through the eyes of C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series and Roald Dahl in the BFG and having those help shape my imagination and creativity. Here is my well-worn and loved copy of the BFG... favorite book of my younger years... that I still own... and is next of my list of books to read. Again.

Then books became a way to open my eyes and new ways of thinking and I found them as a means of education. Biggies were God's Politics by Jim Collins; incredible, incredible book. Then, I am such a history nerd that any work by David McCullough that helps teach me about history steals my heart. And lastly, Not on Our Watch by Don Cheadle opened my eyes to the world. I love books.

Favorite thing number Three:

When L walked into the kitchen last night (after a week of leftovers and me not cooking) and exclaimed with such glee and joy: We're having REAL food tonight?!? It smells SO good!

You gotta love him.

Update

2010-03-30T09:58:00.003-06:00

In the spirit of my last post I thought that I would give you a glimpse into this world of mine, dirt and everything.

L and I just discovered that we've been hiding things from each other.

I saw a spot on our carpet this morning and asked him about it... A snippet of our conversation:

Me: Hey, what is this?

L: Oh, Sophie puked a couple of days ago and I keep forgetting to clean it up.

Me: Gross... Define a few days ago

L: Well, it's Tuesday... I think I first saw it maybe Sunday morning? I didn't have time or feel like getting it right away because we were on our way out the door to church then every other time I've seen it I'm in the middle of something else.

He only needed to read the look on my face to know that then was the time to clean it up.

However, I can't stand in judgement for too long because he discovered my little secret. We were driving in my car last night and he found some dirty glasses. Not just any glasses. I have a smoothie for breakfast every morning and most days drink it in the car on the way to work. These glasses rarely make it back inside... have you ever seen a cup with dried up blueberries and yogurt that's 4 days old on it? Sick. Whoops.

We are filthy, people. Dirty. Throw-up, crusty cups that we drive around with in our car, and kitchens that have a mind of their own.

The situation has not improved.

Kitchen Philosophy

2010-03-28T22:00:00.006-06:00

Isn't it interesting how much your home is a reflection of your life? Your heart, schedule, emotions, mood... everything? If you were to take one glance in your home today, what would it say?

Mine would probably say Chaotic. Jumbled. Imperfect. Maybe even a little unruly.

My kitchen as of late:

I wonder if this doesn't look that bad to you. But let me assure you, it was.

To prove my point, we'll play a game:

I spy a dog leash

I spy weights

I spy the newspaper

I spy glass cleaner

I spy Christmas lights

I spy grey (beautiful) shoes

It got bad. And really, I just let it happen. I let myself go, if you will. See, the problem lies in the fact that I have an All-or-Nothing personality. I can't half-way do anything. I either do it all out or I don't do it at all. If I commit to doing something, I am going to do it 110% of my very best ability. On the flip side, if I know I'm not going to be able to do something perfect basically, I don't even try. It's bad.

I am the most disciplined eater you will ever meet- it's all whole grains, veggies, fruits, and protein for me, Missy, and I can turn down a dessert when temptation is staring me right in the face like there's no tomorrow. But if I let myself have just that one innocent Oreo, count me out for the next two months because I will be gorging myself at all-you-can-eat bars with all of the senior citizens in town. It's a disease.

The All-Or-Nothing-Syndrome then overflows into my kitchen because I like neat & tidy. A place for everything and Everything in it's place.

But with this AONS, as I like to call it, the second that 3 ring binder was on my counter for longer than one hour, I knew I was done for. Pretty soon it got crazy in there and I was leaving dog leashes, back porch lights, passports, jackets, EVERYTHING on the counter.

WHAT in the world are my cute pink weights doing next to my stove? Camp flyers that should be in a folder? Glass cleaner that goes in my car? What? I count 3 bags, 2 jackets, and one signed contract. And SHOES where I eat; don't even get me started on the shoes.

You see, I love organization. I love neat and tidy. I love structure and matchiness and coordination.

Take me to The Container Store, let me pick out a polka-dot basket and an in-closet shoe organizer and I'm yours forever. Better yet, I'm currently dreaming of the ways in which a color-coded drawer filing system for our office would change my life.

Still my beating heart.

Favorite Things Friday

2010-03-26T13:35:00.004-06:00

I think I might be trying to do something here. I have been feeling very disorganized in my life lately and this might be an attempt to bring order from the chaos. So. I'm going to try to keep track of some favorite things I discover each week, whether it be an article, another blog post, a recipe, a craft, something that got me thinking, what-have-you, and then post them on Fridays.

We'll see how long this lasts, but I have high hopes for myself.

This week there were three things that were my very FAVORITE.

The first is this video. It's titled 'The Future of Publishing.' If any of you now want to run because that sounds super boring I don't blame you, but DON'T GIVE IN! I saw this video posted on about 2000 other blogs (not really, it was about 4) before I finally decided to go ahead and watch it and it CHANGED MY LIFE. If you're into books, writing, reading, etc. you are probably (hopefully) going to love this. If you're not, I hope you appreciate it for the sheer creativity that there is to its design.

Seriously, it's one of the most unique, creative things I've ever seen. It's like I just watched an amazing movie and there is a huge twist at the end that you don't see coming and when you realize it's there it's BRILLIANT. I'll stop talking this up in case you hate it. But it's neat.

Now onto FAVORITE #2

My sweet friend Holly who is brilliant and always has great thoughts on books to read recommended 'The Year of Living Biblically.' Has anyone else read it? I LOVED it. He has a really interesting perspective on the Bible, and it was fascinating following him on his journey through the bible and hearing his thoughts on the laws, the purpose of them, and his view on God. I finished the book this week and really enjoyed it. If anyone is looking for a next good book, check it out!

And lastly, FAVORITE #3

These yummy amazing delicious HEALTHY Pumpkin-Oat Muffins. The best part? They're super easy.

Drumroll, please.

1 Cup whole wheat flour
1/3 Cup all-purpose flour

1/2 Cup Rolled Oats
1/4 Cup Splenda
1/4 Cup Sugar
2 Tbs Honey
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon Nutmeg
1/2 Cup Unsweetened Applesauce
2 eggs
1 Cup canned pumpkin

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees

2. In a large bowl, combine the dry ingredients: flour, oats, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg

3. Add applesauce, eggs, and pumpkin- mix until just combined.

4. Pour into greased muffin tin and bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

I served these with another equally yummy and delicious Butternut Squash and Pumpkin Soup that I'll probably post the recipe to next week.

Hope y'all like these muffins... they are Epic.

Enjoy!

You're weird, Colorado

2010-03-24T08:19:00.005-06:00

Let me take you on a little tour of our past few days.

Thursday: Return from our trip to BEAUTIFUL mid-60's greet-me-with-a-warm-smile-Springtime weather.

Friday: Realize that it was all just a tease. Colorado, quit playing games with my heart. BLIZZARD dumps 6 inches of snow.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday: Bright blue sky commences to warm my heart again with sunshine and perfect temperatures. Colorado and I are on talking terms once more as the snow is melted away. I have hope that Spring is here... hope enough to make me take the bold steps of reorganizing my closet- as in folded, boxed up, stored underneath my bed without any goodbye tears - and put away my winter sweaters. My closet now sings of color, Springtime, dresses, and my beautiful strappy sandals. I dance through the house.

Tuesday: Wake up early for work to a beautiful sunrise and think: Oh good! I'll go for a run when I get home from subbing; it'll be perfect weather. Place on my mental to-do list for the weekend: Spring Cleaning! Re-organize the garage and clean the house. Clean windows, scrub out cabinets, and tidy up the place to the tune of Giselle's 'Happy Little Working Song'.

Tuesday afternoon: On my drive home I notice the clouds forming. It starts to rain, then snain, then snow. By the time 5 pm hits it's a full-on blizzard. No running for me. 12 inches of snow later, a snow day for Wednesday called, our power out from the weight of the snow, and I must say goodbye to my long-lost friend Spring once again.

Wednesday morning: Beautiful. Not in the Spring-steal-my-heart kind of way, but in the beauty of fresh snow kind of way. I will not let my heart get teased in such a way again. Have resigned myself to the fact that this is Springtime in Colorado. March snow... April snow... May snow... sometimes even June snow.

DIY of the Day

2010-03-22T14:16:00.006-06:00

I crafted today. Days that I don't sub are pretty much up to me as to how I fill them: I try to get some writing done every day, do my bible study, work out, run errands, play with Sophie, clean the house and cook up some yumminess for any/all of the meals, spend time with L, talk to every member of my family at some point... but what I do and when I do it varies from day to day.

One thing that I LOVE doing that has dropped off of my radar really since Christmas is crafting. Anything and everything crafty is what I adore.

I make necklaces. Have I told you that yet? I'm thinking about putting them up on Etsy soon (they really are pretty stinkin cute), but then there's the whole not loving rejection thing and I fear no one would buy them! It's nerdy. But anyway, I love popping in a movie and crafting away creating my necklaces. We'll see what happens with them, but it's a fun side hobby.

I've repurposed furniture and discovered trash into treasure with the best of them. Hobby Lobby, garage sales, and thrift stores speak to my heart more than Banana Republic or Anthropologie.

That's a lie. Besides my husband and Jesus, I'm not sure anything speaks to my heart as much as Anthropologie. That is a fact.

All of this to say, I got back to crafting today. Genevieve Turner was on HGTV in the background inspiring me to make beautiful things so I made a Burlap Wreath. One thing to know about me is that there is not an original bone in my body. I could never be a real interior designer- I just can't look at an empty room and imagine the possibilities.

However, I am pretty darn good at copying (re-creating, borrowing, etc. etc.). And that is what I did with this new wreath. I was sick of the wreath that was on my front door so I exchanged it out with that, but my new friend just put it on top of a mirror in her room and it looks super cute there.

:::Burlap Wreath:::

The participants:

I used 1 yard of burlap (1/2 off at Hobby Lobby)

Some cute ribbon I had around the house

A wire hanger

Take the wire hanger and shape it into a circle. Mine definitely put up a bit of a fight, so good luck with this.

See my perfect circle? I paid attention in Kindergarten.

I cut the burlap into about 4-5" wide strips that were the full yard (3 feet for folks who struggle like me). I started with only these 5, but ended up cutting another 5 and used the entire yard.

Once you get them cut, just begin poking the hanger through the burlap and

scrunch your little heart away.

Quick tip: I initially made the loops too big, so had to take it all apart and made smaller loops which looked/worked much better.

Once you have your burlap strips the whole way around the circle, tie it up with your pretty ribbon and hang it somewhere in your house that will

make you smile~!

Some of my favorite things

2010-03-20T14:38:00.006-06:00

Life has returned to normal. Laundry has been done, bags unpacked, hours of sleep caught up on and newspapers read. Bed still has yet to be made, but I'm working on it.

Today, my friends, I am going to be sharing with you a few of my favorite things that highlighted my Saturday.

Round One: The Grocery Game... do any of you know about it? It is brilliant. Sometimes I have a love/hate relationship with it honestly, but then I look at my grocery bill and see how much I saved and that reminds me that it's worth it.

You go online and see what's on sale for the week and print out your list.

Then you go through Sunday papers past & present and cut out the coupons.

It is a bit of a time commitment cutting and clipping, clipping and cutting.

But at King Sooper's I saved 52% of my grocery bill! 46 buckaroos!

Round Two: Sweet, sweet Starbucks.

After the shopping of the groceries I generously let L stay home to work on taxes and I headed over to the Bucks. In full disclosure I prefer local coffee shops and will go there whenever possible but also in full disclosure I am unabashed about my true love for Starbucks, global chain that it is. However, my husband had given me a gift card for Starbucks along with some other sweet presents as a Thank You for everything I've done these last 6 months to support him in his new job. He's just cute like that. So me and my Cafe Misto hung out for a few hours on an oversized comfy chair full of sweet solitude and writing. Brilliant.

Well done, Starbucks. Well done.

Round Three: The creation of a new yummy appetizer recipe that I just discovered. We went over to a friends house for dinner and I had signed up to bring the munchies, and this recipe met the need with flying colors. Delish!

:::Sausage Wontons:::

The Major Players

3/4 Italian Sausage (I used about 1.5 lbs)

1/2 cup Salsa (I just dumped it in until it looked like enough)

2 oz diced green chilis (I used a 4 oz can)

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (I poured in whatever was left in the bag)

1/2 cup Monterey Jack or Pepper Jack cheese ( I used a lot more than 4 oz)

Wontons (These things are just cool)

Some green onions (Thinly sliced; I used 3 stalks)

Sour Cream (Maybe a cup or so? It's for garnish)

Step One: Cook the Italian Sausage. This part I would change next time and try to buy it like hamburger meat. I have no patience and it took awhile to cook them like this and get them into bite-sized pieces.

2: Once the sausage is cooked and broken up, first drain the grease and then add the green chilis and salsa. Let them simmer together until the liquid has evaporated and the mixture has thickened a little. Let that cool and then add the cheeses and stir it up.

3: Place the wontons in a mini-muffin pan (press them down in the center, making them into cute little cups). Add the sausage mixture to each cup.

4: Bake in a 350 degree oven for ten minutes or until the wontons start to get golden brown. Then, take the sausage cups and put them on a baking sheet and bake for another 10 minutes to crisp up the bottom of the wontons.

5: Slice up your green onions and mix it into the sour cream as a garnish.

6: Put them in cute little rows and commence ADORING these things. Love love LOVE them.

L sometimes (every night) accuses me of not being careful enough when I cook and make things unnecessarily messy.

I, for one, can't figure out what in the world he's talking about!

Utah 5X

2010-03-19T09:15:00.005-06:00

So we're doing P90X to get in shape this Spring and thought that Utah5X would be a funny play on words for this trip. Maybe that's just us. But it was Extreme!

I survived! And loved it. What an incredible trip in Escalante, Utah! I really do love backpacking. It's neat being able to go to places that you can't take a car to. There is something sacred, beautiful, and almost primal feeling in being able to carry everything you need to survive on your back for a week. And it was just good for L and I; it was bonding in a way that we haven't experienced before. Experiencing challenging situations together, continuing to walk for 3 more miles when you don't think you can go any further, seeing such cool sights together, laughing, pushing your physical boundaries and conquering fears together... it was good.

Days we were on the trail: 5

Miles we hiked: 30

Pounds I carried on my back: 40

Times I cried: 2

What we saw: AWESOME

We were hiking through canyons the whole time and they just got progressively bigger and bigger the deeper in we got. Seriously, these walls are 500 feet high... so pretty. This was my favorite little waterfall. I imagined little fairies using it as their waterslide... maybe that's just me.

This is me right after the TRAUMA of the trip and what caused the tears to erupt. My fear of heights + having to cross a nearly VERTICAL slope with no hint of footholds over a 50 foot drop to boulders and your DEATH = not a good situation for anyone involved. The beauty of the place can be deceiving, folks.

Isn't he so cute?

Me on the other hand- all I have to say is that this is on Day 4 of

No Showers and Dirt.

Have grace with me, please.

This is his go-to pose when I tell him I'll talk a picture of him...Hmmmm.

He's right in front of Jug Handle Arch; can you see it? They call it that because it looks like, well, a Jug Handle.

This place was seriously ridiculous. That feature is called a Rincon- when the moving water of a river erodes the rock around, and these tall structures are left. It was awesome! And huge.

So there's a glimpse into the last week of my life. During the many, MANY hours we spent on the trail together, L and I were talking about how many parallels to life there are in a backpacking trip. I'll share just one with you now. When you backpack, hike, camp, etc., you get dirty. There are bugs. Your feet hurt and get blisters sometimes even. Your legs ache, you have to drink sandy and iodiney water, and get pretty sick of eating oatmeal and PB&J tortillas. However. Being out in creation is incredible. It is stretching, growing, refining, and challenging. There is definitely risk involved... but it is SO WORTH IT. I got to see things that I never would have seen had I not taken the risk. I would have missed out if I had chosen to just keep things comfortable. If you get out of your comfort zone, whatever that looks like, you will be rewarded. You will learn how much more capable and strong you are than you ever would have known. So get out there- it's worth it!

Chaos, Colds, and Camping

2010-03-11T17:05:00.007-07:00

I'm alive. But barely... this week knocked me over multiple times. I feel like I've been a little MIA but the MIAness of me is going to just have to continue for a little bit longer because the boy and I are about to leave for that glorious backpacking trip in Utah that I was telling you about.

This has been a non-stop, barely-catch-your-breath kind of week. It's all been fun stuff (teaching, an overnight in the mountains with L's coworkers/friends, high school soccer games, a couple meetings, etc...) but I have had this cloud of a cold that's been hovering over me for the last week and I haven't quite been able to kick it to the curb. Or curve? I never know if I'm quoting the right phrase sometimes. Curb seems to make the most sense to me.

I digress.

I feel like I'm getting better though, and it might have something to do with the 9 hours (sheesh!) of sleep I allowed myself to get last night. I DO NOT want to still be sick when I begin hiking through the canyons of Utah while keeping my eyes peeled for snakes and bears and coyotes and flash floods and rodents of unusual size. I need to be on full alert!

Now, my friends, in case any of you have the misperception that I might be a super-cool, rough, hardcore kind of a gal for going backpacking with L let me assure you... this is not the case.

Yes, I love the outdoors. And yes, this will be a fun trip.

This isn't me, but imagine this as me in 3 days. This is what we'll be hiking through though... beautiful, huh?

However. I love showers. I love make-up and all things girly. I like cute shoes and have a slight addiction to purses. Shopping for no reason at all sings to my soul.

Because of the fact that L and I are going on this manly tough backpacking trip over Spring Break we agreed to go on a completly opposite trip for our 5 year (!) anniversary trip this May... COSTA RICA BABY! We have the flights booked and are planning where we're staying as we speak (write/read?) and I am BEYOND excited. Let me assure you there will be no hard-coreness in that trip whatsoever. That trip will include massages, delicious beverages, shopping, laying by the pool, and reading. And also massages. Relaxation and pampering at its finest. In Costa Rica. Amen, and Amen.

Until that beautiful trip of which packing will consist of the 4 S's as I like to call them... swimsuits, sunscreen, sundresses, and sandals...

Packing for Utah includes this:

Yes, those are Cadbury Caramel Eggs... they are a must. I'm packing them in secret; L would never allow them. If you learn nothing else from me, learn this: They only come out one time a year; eat them like there's no tomorrow.

And yes, that is a shovel... use your imagination as to what that's, Ahem, used for.

and this:

My addiction to bags includes the purchase of this backpack. She is glorious, folks. Can't wait to take her out for our inaugural spin.

Also, please disregard the sponge-painted blue walls. This is a rental house; if it was my own that would have been changed before I could fall asleep.

Can't wait to show y'all pictures of the canyons of Utah of my own! Have a great week!

See you when we get back!

A dream is a wish your heart makes

2010-03-07T22:10:00.004-07:00

The weekend. Oh, the weekend.

It was glorious.

I went home (2ish hour drive away) because L was off Playing Army this weekend and it happened to fall on the day of my niece’s 4th birthday party. 15 knights and princesses running around the house is quite the sight to behold on a Saturday morning. Then I went to a friend’s house and got to meet her new sweet baby boy. Then I met up with my mom.

And. We. Shopped. The shoes that were bought are breathtaking. Simply breathtaking. I have a slight obsession with shoes, my friends, and these satisfy me to the depths of my soul. I dreamt about them last night. Not kidding.

Back to things that matter, like my family. Last year I talked with my sisters and ran an idea I had by them on how to handle the birthdays of their kiddos. There are 5 (soon to be 6) nieces/nephews on my side and 3 (soon to be 4) on L’s side of the family. Needless to say, that’s a lot of birthdays to buy presents for. And, let’s be honest... they have TONS of toys and probably don’t need another $15.00 something from Auntie Sarah. So, my brilliant idea was that instead of buying material possessions for my sister's sweet little ones, I would take them out for a Special Day. Quality time is my present to them. Me and them. Them and me. Making memories. Chatting. Laughing. I love these days SO much. I look forward to the years to come and how this tradition is building that special bond between us.

So, my sweet little niece is sitting in the back seat as we drive to our birthday celebration destination (Chuck-E-Cheese- hello fun!) and we are talking about whatever her heart’s desire is. I was asking her all about her birthday party when she responded with:

“I don’t want to talk about my birthday party... I want to talk about DISNEYLAND!”

Clearly, I had no idea what I was talking about. I should have known the power of Disneyland on the psyche of a 4 year old.

So we talked about fun rides and which princess is her favorite (the Jasmine doll that she got to bring home won for toys, but actual Cinderella princess won for real princesses). I also got to throw in a teaching lesson on shoes: I was wearing my beautiful new pumps, but had ballet flats in my purse to change into when we got to Chuck-E-Cheese. She asked why... the fashion teaching begins...). It was a fun weekend.

Now, L and I are back home ready to tackle a pretty hectic week. I have to get up early in the morning tomorrow because I'm subbing (yay!) and have yet to choose what outfit I'm going to wear... those high school girls can be very judgmental. It'll be fun.

And now, for your viewing pleasure... here is the glory:

The bonus is that BOTH are unbelievably comfy. Who'dve thought? Beauty. Love.

Things I Love

2010-03-05T08:07:00.004-07:00

On this Friday the 5th day of March I'm thinking back to some of my favorite things of the week:

* Wednesday morning when L and I woke up at 6 to work out before the day started, made it to the living room and read for 15 minutes before falling asleep until 8. We then had to get ready for the day thus missing our workout. It was fun.

* The fact that I now live close enough to my family that I can go home this weekend to celebrate my niece's princess-themed 4th birthday party. Do I love Jasmine more? Cinderella? Maybe Giselle.... the Birthday Girl will let me know who is best.

* The entire week was a BEAUT. Bright blue sky, crisp spring air, mid-50s. Spring is coming, my friends. Spring is coming.

* My servant-hearted husband who just walked up to me with a grin on his face bringing me a cup of coffee that he had just made and doctored up for me just right.

* My discovery of this project. I haven't crafted much since our move to Colorado, but was re-inspired after seeing this amazing room. She uses it as a nursery (which is amazingly adorable) but until the need of a nursery enters my life, I just imagine it as a cute & cozy reading nook in our house. Maybe a spring break project? I'm on the hunt for supplies.

* Friday Follow! I am just LOVING these Fridays.

Hurry up and wait

2010-03-02T18:52:00.007-07:00

In the beginning:

There were... nerves. Check.

There was... excitement. Check.

Sarah ventured into the unknown... Check.

There were fireworks, parties, and hoopla in general... Nope. UN-check that one for sure.

So I did it. I finally began contacting literary agents about my book. Or manuscript. Document. Giant THING on my computer. If you are a new friend on here and haven't heard about my story, you can check it out here. Basically, I wrote a book about my Army man going over to war several times and what that did to my heart, my faith, and our marriage.

As you might remember, I was FREAKING OUT about starting this process. I let go of thinking that each letter I sent out to these agents had to be perfect though. I just tried to get one the best I possibly could without worrying about all 50 being perfect. Slowly but surely I'll contact all of these agents on my list.

All of the pressure I put on sending out my query letters PLUS my excitement of the possibilities I was opening up equaled much anxiety and hopeful anticipation.

So I got my initial 4 query letters as good as they were going to be, obsessively read them 200 times in a row, pressed send, and....

Nothing.

No Big Band came marching through my house in jubilee. No phone rang of congratulations. Not even a little butterfly fluttered in my stomach. It just felt very... normal. It was weird.

Hurry Up and Wait was a phrase used lots in L's Army experience. They would have to rush to get somewhere only to wait in line or stand in a formation for hours on end. They would exit a bus being yelled at to grab their gear and get in formation only to find out that their orders didn't begin for another hour so they Hurried Up... only to Wait.

That is me right now. I rushed, hurried up, and freaked out over sending out these letters... if any agent is interested it will be AT LEAST 6-8 weeks before I get contacted. There's going to be a lot of waiting in the future.

In less dramatic and MUCH more exciting news, I was nominated for a blog award! How fun is that?! More to come on THAT soon!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Riding in on his white horse

2010-02-28T19:29:00.010-07:00

On our way home from the mountains today L and I started planning out our Spring Break trip. He runs an organization that works with high school and college students, and I work in the school district so we now get the perks of living on the school schedule and get to enjoy Spring Break 5 years out of college. 3 cheers for never having to grow up! Hip Hip Hooray!

So, over Spring Break (in 2 weeks), we are going on a backpacking trip in Utah. He has done 3 backpacking trips through Utah but I have yet to do one in that beautiful state, and I am super excited for this trip. Well, mostly excited, partly terrified.

Maybe 80% terrified, 20% excited.

We are discussing things that could go wrong and he is trying to talk some sense into me. I was telling him my fears of drowning in a flash flood in the canyons... being eaten by wild mountain lions... boulders falling on one of us and having to saw off our arms to escape... being overtaken by robbers in the middle of the night...

In the middle of my Freak Out Session, with his uncanny sense of perfect timing L says "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that quicksand is actually a pretty common problem where we're going."

My mind works in Worst Case Scenario Speed at all moments in time, so I immediately flash forward and envision myself as Princess Buttercup being sucked up by quicksand in the Fire Swamp and fighting off Rodents of Unusual Size.

It is at this moment that I am now sure that my demise won't come from a falling boulder on this backpacking trip. No, it will come from quicksand.

L took this opportunity to reassure me in his sweet way: "You wouldn't sink more than waist deep so before I rescue you, I would have to take some pictures and maybe laugh at you."

Awesome. My knight in shining armor.

Happy Friday!

2010-02-26T09:31:00.004-07:00

I am about to eat my words. Remember my longings of warm weather and spring? Remember my loathing of snow, freezing temperatures, and all things cold?

Well. This morning L and I are packing clothes, boots, food, hats, gloves, the kitchen sink, and our dog to go up to the mountains for the weekend. They have gotten snow this week. It will be beautiful.

I will love it.

I will let L and friends go to the ski resort and do their extreme sports thing in the cold. I will drink coffee, do me some yoga, write, read, nap, go on walks.... yes, it will be a great weekend.

For now though, I just discovered something fun. It's called the Friday Follow. Check it out! Yay for new friends!

My magic trick

2010-02-25T16:21:00.006-07:00

I love cooking. I think it's just the coolest thing to take all of these separate ingredients and make something beautiful and delicious out of them. It's a life-giving thing for me.

I do always think it's funny though, around 5:30 or 6 each night I'll call L into the kitchen and he'll sit down at the table without asking any questions. The food just magically appears!

Take for instance the yummy meal I made last night. I tried my hand at making spaghetti squash for the first time and it was a smashing success, if I do say so myself.

You first have to roast the thing for 45 minutes in order to cut it in half:

I do have to say, this is one of the weirdest foods I have ever cooked. It literally looks like spaghetti. But it's squash.

People are so creative when naming their vegetables.

So you scoop the squash out after roasting it, and can eat it like that. But I got this brilliant idea from The Tasty Kitchen: Saute some onions in butter, add the squash, some parsley and parmesan cheese and voila! Delicousness is served.

This was the meal that resulted: My yummy spaghetti squash creation; roasted potatoes/peppers/onions tossed with EVOO, garlic, S&P, and parsley; then throw on some fresh greens on the plate and... Dinner!

I was bracing for cries of "Seriously... where's the meat! No, but really, did you forget it on the grill?" when L walked in but he didn't even miss it. My bacon-cheesburger loving, steak consuming, never-can-have-enough-cow carnivore of a husband ate a totally vegetarian meal, got seconds, and told me to put this at the top of our "Meals to absolutely cook again" list.

And so, Ladies and Gentlemen, if I hadn't already wowed you enough with my magical Make Food Appear On The Table trick stay tuned for my final act:

Make My Millions of Dirty Dishes Clean Again trick!

He doesn't even ask how it happens. I guess magicians really never do reveal their secrets!

Come back, I miss you!

2010-02-22T10:05:00.005-07:00

I LOVE Colorado and will forever think that it will win the #1 Greatest State Ever Contest. And the Gold Medal goes to..... COLORADO!

However. Living in Georgia for 4 years basically made me a wuss. I can't handle the cold like I used to and I am BEYOND ready for it to warm up.

I have been waking up to scenes like this:

Let's play the Find Sophie Game. It's fun!

Can you find her? Hint: She's behind the fence to the right of the satellite dish.

Well, that wasn't so much the hint as it was the answer, but

I've always loved shortcuts anyway.

And this:

The Find Sophie Game is a bit easier in this one.

When all I have really wanted to do is wake up to this:

This is my backyard pre-Freezingness That Lasts Forever. Seriously; the view from my back porch. Be jealous.

(And, if you're on your toes and a smarty-pants and are thinking that the mountains in Colorado are to the west, thus making this the sunset and not the sunrise and I wouldn't technically be waking up to this, you would be correct. It's still purty though, huh?)

Come back to me Springtime! Bring with you your perfect-above-70-but-less-than-80-temperatures! Bring sundresses and sunblock. A jetski or two to play on the water would be a nice gift as well.

The Backstory

2010-02-19T15:56:00.001-07:00

This past fall, L was still Active Duty in the Army serving with an incredible unit and was finishing up his final deployment in Afghanistan. We had already done two other deployments to Iraq along with a doozy of a 3-month training school, and too many other training trips I couldn’t even count. All of that to say, we have said a lot of goodbyes. The deployment goodbyes were the most gut-wrenching moments I have ever had to experience in my entire life. They’re awful. Absolutely heartbreakingly awful.

So, last August I knew that L would be coming home soon, thus beginning our transition out of Active Duty and into the National Guard. Out of Super Crazy Army Life into Minimally Crazy Army Life.

And I started thinking. And wrestling. And processing what happens to a marriage when the first four years of that beautiful relationship coincide with four years of military and war. Figuring out how my faith had been transformed because of the battles I fought with God when my husband had to leave to go fight physical battles of his own.

So I wrote. And kept writing, using those words and my laptop as my own personal counselor as I debriefed the previous four years of my life. Initially, it was simply a really long journal.

Our marriage had been rocked because of the burdens we were having to bear. It is a difficult, difficult life to sustain and we absolutely learned the meaning of having to fight for your marriage. My faith was rocked as I had to learn the true meaning of trust. I had to come to terms with the fact that there are some things in this world that just simply don’t make sense and learned that having hope despite suffering is the definition of faith. Believing that there is more to this world than meets the eye.

Our relationship developed an unshakable strength despite the struggles and as I wrote down our story, I had the feeling that this story is much greater than us. It is the story of a marriage that went through hard times and emerged stronger. It’s the story of today’s military and what deployments are like through the eyes of a soldier’s wife.

So now I have this document on my computer that I’m hoping will eventually leave this laptop and make it onto the shelves of your local bookstore. I’m hoping that our story will resonate with other couples, military or not. I’m hoping that it will give people hope despite the heartache.

It was because of this book that I got my contract to write for CincHouse so if my opportunities end there, I am forever happy. However, I would love for it to go further and am going to do everything in my power to make that happen.

You elude me, perfection

2010-02-18T16:24:00.003-07:00

I have been telling myself for months that mid-February is going to be my personal deadline to send out queries to agents about my manuscript. Well, it’s looking to be on the later side of mid-February to me and have I sent out a single query?

Nope.

Not one. Why? In my head I blame it on perfection. The wording not being just right, L hasn’t been able to set aside the time to proof-read them for me this week, I want to make sure that I don’t contact them at a time when the rest of the world is, and the length of time it takes to octuple-check the submission guidelines to make sure I’m doing this thing correctly is just ridiculous.

But in reality I think it’s fear. Because once I hit the ‘send’ button it’s out of my hands and out of my control. And into somebody’s hands that just might say ‘You know, this just isn’t right for us.’ Ugh. I’m going to get rejected. Hopefully (!) not by all of them, but rejections will come because that’s just the nature of the beast, and that just doesn’t sound like fun to me. So I procrastinate. And now I’m telling myself that I’ll get them sent out by next Tuesday. Surely that will give me enough time to ensure 100% perfection.

Why do I hold myself to such ridiculous standards? I know that I have missed out on so many things in my life because if I know I can’t do it up to the standard I hold myself to, I don’t even attempt it. I guess I want to make sure I feel success with it. I’m a bit ridiculous like that.

I know I’ve done some talking about my book, about my writing and all that jazz, but I haven’t yet fully explained my whole journey with it. How this crazy idea came into my head, why I followed through with it, or what the result was. It might take me a little bit to gather my thoughts on that, but I’ll do some soul-searchin’ tonight and let you know tomorrow.

For now, L and I are off to see Brian Regan. He’s just about the most HILAROUS comedian. Ever. It’ll be a good night.

I say tomato, you say Roger That

2010-02-16T14:45:00.003-07:00

I was talking a little earlier with L about a project that needed to get done around the house. He told me that he has a pretty crazy week & probably won’t be able to get to it so if I want it done I will just have to do it ‘Sua Sponte.’ Literally. Those were the words he used. For those non-military speakers out there, Sua Sponte means of one’s own accord. That you can do something without another’s prompting or help.

The military is weird. It changes how you speak and L just can’t shake it so I still continually have to ask him to translate 5 years in.

Last week I got lost while driving in our new town (forgot our Garmin at home, thus defeating the whole purpose of buying the thing!) so I had to call L to look up directions on the internet.

He told me he found it, so be prepared because he’s going to ‘talk me on to our target.’

Oh, Army.

No Longer Newleyweds

2010-02-15T22:28:00.001-07:00

I love love. I love all things cheesy, high school romances, movies about high school romances, seeing couples that have been married for 50 years still getting giddy at the thought of their spouse, and cheering at the end of a story where the guy gets the girl even though you know he’s going to end up getting her the whole time. I love love.

I have been with Lane for 8 years now and married for 5, and although that’s just a drop in the bucket of how many years some marriages have logged, I still feel like it’s a significant amount of time- you know, we’re past the ‘newlywed’ stage. We have a legitimate, long marriage. It makes me feel old. Not really. But sort of.

Lane and I just got to celebrate what became a weekend-long Valentine’s Day. It was three days full of festivities. And by festivities, I mean eating lots of Mexican food. And listening to jazz music while sipping wine. And watching the Olympics. And eating lots of Mexican food. Plus margaritas.

Anyway, through the weekend we were talking about how we feel like our love and marriage is stronger than it was when we first were married. How does that happen? You get married and think that is the pinnacle, but nope. It gets better. And we were trying to figure out exactly how that happened, and this is what we came up with:

We know that love is a choice. You don’t just fall ‘in’ and ‘out’ of love with a person and then decide to get divorced. We know that daily we choose to love the other and will for the rest of our lives. It’s an intentional awareness and an intentional effort.
We laugh together. A lot. Over things significant and over things stupid, but we laugh.
We constantly evaluate the state of our relationship. Not in a legalistic kind of way, but in a way that wants to take the temperature to make sure that it is always functioning at its maximum potential. If something/someone is ‘off’ we discuss why and figure out ways to fix whatever hurt/miscommunication/funkiness that might cause that off-ness.
We remember our journey. We spent a good 45 minutes yesterday remembering the past 9 Valentine’s Days that we’ve spent together and what we did for each one. We’re constantly retelling stories and laughing about experiences/trips/memories that we’ve had together. We remember, and we talk about it.
We have common ground. We love many of the same activities, and those loves that we don’t share we indulge the other (most of the time)
Most importantly, our faith is what has sealed us together. We would not have made it up to this point if there wasn’t something greater than ourselves that was giving us a model of love, a purpose, and a joy within it.

Those can be enough sappy thoughts on love for now. But, it’s already the day after Valentine’s Day, so I’m losing my window on when it’s allowed!

Don't Stop Believin'

2010-02-12T14:32:00.005-07:00

Raise your hand if you love Journey! My hand would definitely be raised if my arms weren't so sore from my latest P90x workout. Thanks a lot, Tony Horton.

I have four jobs. Four. Ish.

I sub in the local school district. I sub in a whole other separate school district. I write articles for a website. I am pursuing a book deal. Also, I design necklaces and am going to start selling them.

Is that weird? It's weird to me. On one hand, the lack of a full-time job makes me go insane and I miss it deeply. On the other hand, it has truly been a gift to have a schedule that I can determine. Most days. It has at least given me the freedom to be able to pursue this book dream thing of mine.

It has led me to be able to write, trash, and re-write articles for CincHouse before I send them off without worrying about a deadline for my 'real job' in the midst of it all. There is the flexibility to dream, to create, and to invest myself in this process.

However, as Lane and I were chatting before bed the other night he said "You don't really have a real job right now, do you?" He meant it as just a thought and nothing hurtful; just innocent Lane sticking his foot in his mouth once again. I was not happy.

I have a real job! Right? I at least get paid by the school district. And I'm paid for my CincHouse articles which makes me feel much more justified in spending hours at a coffee shop just writing. I know it's not a regular, 9-5, stressful, every day brick-and-mortar job which is what Lane meant. But I love it. And so continues my affair with my beloved laptop.

I should name him. Or her. What sex would a laptop be?

But right now being published feels like this far-off, unseen enemy. There are so many pit-stops on the journey for my manuscript to be denied and turned down that it can get intimidating and make me not even want to try. First you have to get an agent to like it. Then the agent tries to sell it to an editor. Then the editor pitches it to the publishing firm who has to be convinced that they'll actually make money on it. Then, let's say it does get published; the ultimate test comes when the public decides if they love it or not, whether they'll buy it or not. It makes me want to say: "Okay, I'm satisfied with just writing articles. I'll stop there." That way, I never have to experience rejection. That's comfortable.

True, it's a risk. But maybe, just maybe, this will all pay off and one day I'll be able to hand you a signed copy of my latest release. Maybe not. But maybe.

The Power of Half

2010-02-11T11:09:00.009-07:00

Whew. So this has been quite the week. One that I have absolutely adored, but exhausting nonetheless. I've been spending it teaching high schoolers and they are just so much fun. Do you think I'm crazy for saying that I have the best job in the world for teaching high school? Quite possibly, yes. But they're great; they're witty, they're thoughtful, and though it takes some time to win respect in their eyes, once you do it's a neat relationship. And most importantly, they are in desperate need of caring adults in their life who can love on them and provide them with a good example. It's the power of presence.

That in no way relates to my post today.

Here's where I'm going today: I love Sunday mornings. I let myself sleep in just a little bit; long enough to feel rested, but not so late that I don't feel like there's time to be productive in the morning hours. So I wake up, sip some delicious coffee, and put on the CBS Sunday Morning news show. You should check it out; it's good stuff.

Anyway, this last week they did a piece on a family who wrote a book called 'The Power of Half'. Basically, they were a super wealthy family who recognized the poverty of people in their city and the world and how their finances were much better off than the vast majority of people. So they did something about it. They saw a need and they changed their lives. They aligned their actions with their passions. They sold their house, giving the profit away to a charity and downsized to a much smaller house.

http://www.thepowerofhalf.com/

I wanted to actually post the video piece onto my blog, but me in my bloggy newness couldn't figure out how that happened. So this is a link to their own website which has that video on it with a bunch of other great stuff.

There are some people who criticized the Salwen family because they let the money be used in Africa rather than in poverty-stricken cities in the U.S. First of all, they are completed devoted to work in their own city too, with the whole family being involved in giving to the community in some way. Second of all, I don't think it matters! We are all humans, we are all united and need to take care of those who can't take care of themselves no matter where they live. Complaining about their wealth, or how they tried to help is missing the heart of the message. It's about being aware of injustice in the world, both near and far. If you can't give financially, then volunteer at a food back. Or keep a pair of socks and a granola bar in your car to give out to a homeless man when you pass him on the street. Or sell your house and give away the profits. Whatever your form of awareness and giving can look like, do it. That's the message of The Power of Half, and that's what inspires me.

If I was ever goin' somewhere, I was RUNNIN'

2010-02-06T13:28:00.007-07:00

The boy is off playing Army this weekend. It's starting to feel like most weekends have become 'go play Army' weekends. Life just goes so quickly that they're always coming around again. We're having to re-adjust to this life again which has been interesting... and by 'this life' I mean seeing the husband in uniforms and saying goodbyes because of training. It comes nowhere near close to what the Army life used to be for us and what it still is to so many of our dear friends. We were just spoiled though by some time having a simple, non-military life in our in-between time of Active Duty and National Guard Duty and it's back. I'm just really not a big fan of goodbyes; we've done them too many times. So what if it's only for a weekend! I know I get to see him soon, but I'm still allowed to miss him, right?

What keeps me laughing while keeping the house occupied by myself though is one of my final images of him right before he left. Oh, how I DEEPLY wish I had an actual picture of it to put up here and not just one in my mind. You would love it! Our trash gets picked up on Friday mornings and we have developed an irritating knack of forgetting to take out the trash. And it comes early compared to our last trash pick up time and we're just never ready for it. So, it's about 7:30 a.m. yesterday, and we were eating breakfast before Lane had to get ready and take off for his weekend away. We hear the familiar sounds of the garbage truck and Lane looks at me and says "Oh, CRAP!" and without one more word takes off outside. He grabs our giant green garbage can mid-stride and races down our driveway and out to the cul-de-sac pushing it, hoping to get the garbage man's attention. They had already passed our house and were on their way out of the street, but Lane is apparently not one to give up so easily.

I'll paint a mental picture for ya: One man in sweat pants, a sweat shirt with the hoodie up over his head because it was cold, and slippers SPRINTING down a street pushing a green garbage can which isn't staying on it's wheels as it hits the bumps in the road so he's half pushing, half dragging, yelling at the man driving the truck to stop for our trash. He eventually gets in their line of sight and, in between panting breaths asks them to get our trash. They really were not happy at all about this crazy guy running by their truck, but they must live by 'The Customer is Always Right' philosophy.

You would think we had a dead body stored in there or something with the passion he had to getting our trash OUTTA THERE! He is a man dedicated to the cause, I can say that.

Like sands through an hourglass...

2010-02-04T10:48:00.005-07:00

These are the days of our lives. Soap Opera TV, anyone? I grew up on that show, cheering for Hope and Beau to get together, hating Sammie...

Without any earth-shattering revelations of the week, I am posting some of the days of our lives here. One thing that struck me this week is that I should be banned from Crock-pot cooking FOREVER... you will understand soon.

Without any kiddos yet, our Golden has filled that role gloriously. We got her three years ago as we were preparing for Lane to head overseas for the first time. He wasn't too excited about owning a dog because he didn't want to be tied down to anything in case we ever wanted to go on a spontaneous weekend vacation (which has happened once in our 5 year marriage, so I don't quite know what he was thinking... just longing for freedom I suppose). I knew though, that I would not love living in an empty house all alone so we got Sophie to keep me company through the many months of separation that we knew would be headed our way. Soph and I have been through a lot together to say the least. She was allowed to sleep on my bed when it was only occupied on one side for a very sad reason and nuzzled up to me when she could sense I was sad... went on runs together... got hooked on American Idol and Biggest Loser together... and yes, she chewed through her share of couches and walls in our first house. Quite the girl.

Oh, sweet Sophie. How beautiful is she?!? She can be the most obnoxious, feisty, naughty dog, but I just simply adore her. She is waiting expectantly for me to play her favorite game that Lane and her play together all the time- lacrosse. She's actually pretty good.

My attempts at crafting included making this wreath. Not making as much as stuffing things together. I can claim originality on the bow though.

This is probably my husbands #1 biggest pet peeve for me... anyone else do this? I reuse plastic baggies over, and over, and over. This constant scene in our kitchen drives him CRAZY, but I refuse to submit to his demands and just throw them away. What is he thinking?

Okay, so here was the Crock-pot disaster. Originally meant to be Teriyaki Pork. I walked back inside the house with it smelling AMAZING and was so excited to lay eyes on the feast only to find this...

I created tar.

The funniest (saddest?) part of the whole fiasco was that Lane actually ate it. He put it on his plate, ate it, and said it was delicious. I threw up a little in my mouth.

Not a recent picture, but she's just too stinkin cute to not do two pics of her in one post. Oh geez, I'm turning into one of THOSE people aren't I. Who talk about their dogs like they're people... I refuse to dress her. Stop me before it gets to that point.

My afternoon will now be spent on some much-needed editing; here I go.

First is the best, second is the worst, third is the....

2010-02-02T12:54:00.007-07:00

Is that how that rhyme goes?

I just submitted my second article to CincHouse. Is it weird that I am more nervous about that one than the first? With the first, it felt like I had nothing to lose. I wrote up an 800 word piece summarizing our deployment experiences in about 20 minutes, sent it off to my boss (editor? I'm still learning lingo), learned she loved it, and a few days later had the surreal, out-of-body experience of going to the website and reading my VERY OWN WORDS on a page. (Here it is if you want to read it) She loved it so much that I was offered a Deal to write articles several times a month for them. Initially (after possibly screaming up and down with joy- someone likes MY writing!) I was honored, humbled, and excited.

But then my brain actually registered what that entails. That's a LOT of pressure to consistently, thoughtfully, and intelligently turn out good work. Anyone can be good at something one time. It could just be a fluke but no one would know. But to repeat the jaw-dropping performance that makes someone react saying 'I just MUST have them work for me' is a bit daunting.

So compare my first article experience: It just kind of came to me and felt a bit easy honestly
With the second article: The better part of a week was spent sitting on the couches of my favorite coffee shop (yay Zoe's!) writing, revising, scrapping and starting over until I felt like it was worthwhile to be submitted to the Higher Authorities of Cinchouse article critiquing.

I have been learning/learned/need to learn how to just let go. As long as you do what's right and do the very best you possibly can, that's about all you have to offer and I need to be okay with that. I wrote from my heart and feel like it represented myself and my marriage well, so I just need to let go and trust that things will happen the way they're supposed to happen.

Now, on to more important (used loosely) things: THE BACHELOR. Tragically, I was unable to watch the episode last night but got caught up on some clips from the website including the fact that Jake kicked off Corrie rather than VIENNA! Oh Jake, what are you doing? And then there were four. I think that I'm Team Tenley. Or maybe Team Ally. To Be Determined.

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying this beautiful Tuesday!

Stay at home mom without any kids

2010-01-28T11:25:00.004-07:00

Hello, world. It's a cold January day in Colorado which gives me an excuse to still be cozied up on the couch in my sweats, a cup of green tea, and my trusty laptop. No sub jobs today, or rather for this whole week so I have been spending all of that free time writing. And, of course, by writing I mean daydreaming, chatting with friends at my local coffee shop, spending hours trying to find the perfect name for my blog, and staring at a blank document fighting the awful writers' block.

Which has led me to think about my current existence. I used to thrive on being busy. Being a Master Time-Manager. Not having enough hours in my day to get everything done. I love stress and deadlines, and then meeting them with flying colors. Which was my Georgia life. But since our transition to Colorado (four months ago, didn't get a full-time teaching job, hence the subbing) that is not my Colorado life.

My Colorado life has been the life of a writer. A dreamer. A creator. A person who spends most of her time either in a coffee shop or at home bringing life to stories, words, and everyday occurrences. And that's mostly it. Not that sexy of a life. There's no glory in that- no accolades, no hoorahs. Not until I get an actual book deal. Which is what fuels me and I imagine most people in this crazy world of writing. The Dream. The belief that we have something to share that is actually worth sharing and has the power to change lives through reading what we wrote down. And so I write. And research. And think about possibilities. And pursue The Dream.

So...this is it

2010-01-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

I've been dabbling. You know, just sticking your toes in the water to test the temperature but never fully jumping in. I've been reading (some might say stalking) others' blogs like crazy, have thought about how to take my next step in life a whole lot, have talked to my hubby about it, have read books, have pretty much done everything but actually jumping in.

Because dabbling is comfortable; there's not much risk in dabbling. Once you jump in though, you're in.

Here's the thing: I'm not a writer. At least, up until this point in my life I haven't been. I have been a teacher (high school social studies which I loved, more on that in a later post), I have been a wife (an Army Wife at that, which ingrains a deep strength in you that I wasn't quite sure I possessed until I learned it was, in fact, there), a sister, a friend, a reader... the list goes on but it certainly didn't include writer.

But by a series of... accidents... happenings... events... I still don't quite know which, I have become a writer. And I love it. It feeds my soul. It speaks to my heart. I find myself standing in the checkout line at the grocery store twisting words around in my head to see which fit best together. I am now one of those people who must sleep with a pen and a piece of paper by my bed to write down last-minute thoughts before falling asleep. How did that happen?

Last fall, when my husband was still in Afghanistan, I needed to process what our previous four years meant to us, our marriage, our faith, our lives, everything. I believe in the power of words and the strength there is in getting them out- whether in conversation or on paper. So I began writing. And writing. And writing. And by the time I finished writing down our story (originally intended to be simply a really long journal entry) I looked down and had 50,000 words. Hmmm. So I then began to chat with people I trusted about what to do with this thing I had created and the word 'book' became a part of my regular vocabulary. It still only exists as a document on my computer, but I have hopes that it won't end there. I'm on the journey to (hopefully!!!) getting published and I'm trying to appreciate it while I'm here.

Recently, I got in touch with a woman I greatly admire about this 'book' of mine because she runs a website for military wives called CincHouse.com and I needed some advice. She gave me the opportunity to write articles for her a couple of times a month and my first contribution was published on her site recently. So, now it's official. I am a writer.

I was asking (freaking out to...) my husband yesterday when I first saw it on the website- "What?!? This means that people are going to... actually...read....my...words!"

In his loving and patient way he said "Well yes, hon. Isn't that what you want?"

I suppose so. But that is such a vulnerable thing. Ayiyi. But, if this is something I really do want to pursue, I need to get used to that. I need to put myself out there. Give voice to my words and experiences and believe that they will be used in others lives. Let my words be used as a compass in their lives in hopes that it will help them navigate the journeys that they are on.

Which is why I'm not dabbling anymore. It's not worth it and that's a part of what this blog is for. I'm jumping in.