There are no guarantees...

This might be a doozy of a post, but my mind is thinking about this stuff right now...

At church yesterday morning, our pastor spoke on parenting. He called it 'Mythbusters: Godly homes produce Godly children.' It was basically speaking on how there are no promises that just because you raise your children in a certain way they will chose to follow Jesus. Good parents sometimes have hard kids that turn out not following Jesus, making poor life choices, etc. And sometimes bad parents have great kids who end up loving Jesus later in life and having great families of their own.

And all of this got me thinking. You can try to control things as much as possible, do all the 'right' things, but sometimes there are just no guarantees in life.

Take for instance, my sweet friend Brooke. She's phenomenal. They were (and still are!) some of our most cherished friends while we lived in Georgia. I don't think she would mind me sharing this because she talks about it freely on her blog, but they're pregnant right now but her baby boy has a fatal birth defect. He can live inside of her womb, but as soon as he is born they know that he is not going to make it.

Seriously? It's heartbreaking and doesn't make sense. As she shared the other day, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she took prenatal vitamins, she ate healthy, works out... did everything 'right'. They're now looking at adopting in Africa- kids who are healthy and living probably despite not having prenatal vitamins/health care/clean water/etc.

Also, take my friend Kelsey- also a sweet friend from our time in Georgia. She and her husband Chris came to Fort Benning for a years' worth of training and they were in our small group from church. He went to West Point, they were strong believers, newly married, a great great couple. He has been in Afghanistan for the last year or so and we recently found out that he got killed. Again... Seriously? He was one of the good guys. Like, really solid, amazing man, great husband kind of good guys. Kelsey is now a 23-year-old widow. It doesn't make sense.

You can be an amazing parent and just have a tough kid. You can do all of the right stuff while pregnant and still lose a baby. You can marry a phenomenal man but still lose him so much earlier than you were anticipating. There just are no guarantees in life.

And this sometimes makes me want to hole myself up. Never have kids in case I would have to say goodbye to early. Not let Lane go anywhere without me in case something happens. Try to protect myself from the (potential) pain.

But. I would lose out on too much. And Jesus calls us to hope. And trust. Believe that this isn't all there is. Show others what it is like to love a good God who is unchanging despite what life looks like and who loves us so much. It's a journey, for sure.

So that's what's on my mind today... sorry if I'm a Debbie Downer- I'll try to not be like this everyday. :) Makes me excited to hang out in heaven someday.

GREAT weekend!

Hey friends!

It is now officially Day 2 of August.

School starts in 2 weeks.

Summer is winding down. We've checked off pretty much every box that we wanted to accomplish this summer... except one. But more on that later. :) But we wanted to go to Costa Rica- Check. We wanted to go backpacking- Double Check. We wanted lots of time with our family and friends- Check It Up. We wanted to get rested and restored before we enter into another year of chaos- Absolutely Check. It has been good.

And. We wanted to climb a 14er. We got to check that one off this last Saturday.

Now. For any of my friends not from Colorado or not familiar with the glory of 14ers let me tell you- 14ers are mountains that are above 14,000 feet in elevation; there are 54 of them in Colorado and it is kind of a big thing here to try to climb as many 14ers as you can. I grew up climbing them, and this was the first one that Lane and I had done in awhile because our first years of marriage were way out in Georgia far away from anything close to a 14er.

This is our crew at the trailhead at 6:30 am about to begin our way up. Me and L on the right, with his sister and her hubby on the left.

We ran into 5 of these guys on our way up. True, wild mountain goats. So fun!

Capturing the boy as he summits. (And yes, if I was at the top taking his picture as he came up... that means that I SUMMITED BEFORE HIM. My tough Army Ranger is no match for me on the mountains. :) Just kidding. He really could have kicked my bootie if he wanted to, but still. I wear that badge with pride.)

Standing on top of my 11th 14er. SO AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

If you haven't been able to pick it up yet, we LOVE the outdoors. It's a way that we connect to each other, and absolutely a way that we connect with God. These pictures seriously don't do it justice... the view was INCREDIBLE. Being out in nature, and especially on top of a mountain you get such an appreciation with the CREATIVITY and GENEROSITY of our creator, and it makes me appreciate my body and what I have been given. I love being outside because it just shouts to me of a loving God. I love meeting him out there and love experiencing such neat moments and such accomplishment with Lane.

Yes, it was a good good weekend.

We're back! Physically... maybe not mentally quite yet

Um, hi.

It's been awhile.

How are you guys?

We got back from camp with our YL high schoolers late Saturday night (early Sunday mornin') and it has taken me a few days to recover. Seriously. I can't do this stuff like I used to.

Especially because I haven't really let myself recover. Sunday was spent at church and then with friends till late, then Monday we had a post-camp lake party at our place complete with tubing and hamburgers. A girl can't ask for more.

So... our week. It was SO fun! So utterly, numbingly exhausting and packed full of awesome stuff. SO life-changing for these kids. And me.

Our relationships were tightened. Faiths were strengthened... and created. Laughter. Oh, the laughter.

It was unbelievable sitting around and talking with these kids. The stories they brought were heartbreaking. And this wasn't a camp for troubled teens or anything, just normal high schoolers. But it is what life is now handing kids these days; they have a lot of hurt. Abandonment, drug addict parents, absent dads, wrong choices, divorces... so we just sat there and listened to them. It is so beautiful to see what actually being heard can do for a person's self-confidence.

Here's our awesome group- the girls rockin the 80s and the boys as the tough men of Braveheart. Anything in the name of a volleyball competition

Me and my man at the dress up dinner

Our group of 30 was just a drop in the bucket of the total group of 500- SO fun!

We make this look good.

And we're off

Goodmorning, friends!

I hope you have had a FANTASTIC weekend! Ours has been pretty jam-packed, but so fun.

I am going to be out of commission for the next week because we are about to leave for a little trip. More like an adventure.

My hubster runs a non-profit organization called Young Life here- it's a Christian organization that works with high school and middle school students, and college leaders. We are about to head to the beautiful mountains of Colorado with about 500 of our closest high school friends for a week of chaos, laughter, relationships, and absolute STUNNING beauty.

It will be a great time.

It will be EXHAUSTING.

But these kids won't go back home the same. That makes it worth it.

If you're the praying kind, we'd appreciate your prayers for sure!!! Kids will hear about God's love for them in a beautiful setting, process it with their best friends and adults who care about them, and have so much fun their little hearts won't even know what to do with it. Safety, changed hearts, FUN... and sleep for me. ;)

Have a great week, and I'll see you when we get back!

Won't you be my neighbor?

I love our neighborhood.

It was by total accident (and by accident I mean total, undisputed, so obviously Jesus, non-coincidental awesome set-up) that we landed in this place. We never could have afforded or had the chance to even make a decision to live here. But we stumbled (were sent) into this AMAZING neighborhood, and stumbled even deeper into a very cool cul-de-sac with very cool families.

And just recently, our neighborhood has taken on a new and even more amazing persona. Up till now, we'd all been the neighbors who wave hello when picking up the paper, etc, etc. But one night we all just ended up at one of our houses and started talking about how we need to be in better community with each other.

How it is so easy to just live our lives in our house, shut our garage door, and to just be closed out to neighbors but that there is a much better way.

There is such a higher potential to being neighbors. We could be in each others lives.

Ummmm, hello? Yes please.

So we've started doing Sunday night dinners together. It's so chill. And it is so fun! It's a total inter-generational thing too, which I love. It's intentional. It's life-giving. There's laughter. And wine. :)

For the first time, we are really getting to know our neighbors. And not only as friends, but as an intentional community.

It feels like that's how it is supposed to be.

Something is seriously wrong with me...

I was prepared.

I had snacks in my purse to prevent unnecessary stops for food.

I had converted my leftover change sitting in my kitchen into cash so that I didn't really feel like I was spending money and could be getting things for free! (Which I know isn't true, but it's easier to live in delusions sometimes.)

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon just begging to be filled with new sundresses and tank tops from cute stores.

And I didn't find a single thing.

I walked into Target, a.k.a. my mecca, and only walked out with ONE thing. And it was a practical thing at that!

One thing. From Target. I strolled through the aisles feeling lost, confused, and helpless.

I just knew I didn't need any of that stuff. Sure, it'd be fun to have and would make me happy maybe for an hour or two, but I just didn't NEED it. Consumerism was kind of making me sick, knowing the conditions that others in the world live in. If they could see my closet, they would freak out. I don't need new things at all! So I didn't buy any of it.

Am I growing a conscience when it comes to shopping? Alert the authorities. Something is seriously wrong with me.

Or right with me. But it was weird.

Abide

Things I am good at:

* Planning

* Dreaming

* Organizing

Things I am not good at:

* Letting things be out of my control

* Trusting

* Waiting

I am soo not good at waiting. Zero patience for this girl.

I have a lot of dreams for my life right now. My eyes have been opened up into this whole new world that I so desire to be a part of, and I have been doing everything in my power to enter into it.

And I have... little... by... little. That's what writing for CinCHouse is about. And probably trying to write for more things like that. I love writing. It nourishes me.

So there's this book... that I wrote... and it has my heart and soul behind it. And I deeply believe in it and so badly want it to be published.

And that is what this Spring entailed for me- querying agents, sending in proposals, sample chapters, outlines, and one-sentence-summaries.

Mostly I get rejected. Which is fine. It's part of the business. All of the great authors have "I got rejected 30 times before my book became an international bestseller!" stories. Maybe that will be my fate too? Probably not. But maybe?

However, in early May I got my first non-rejection! They were so interested that this agent (who was my dream agent BTW) asked to see the full manuscript. Which was a big deal in my brain and dream world. Then Lane and I went off to Costa Rica and Every Single Day I thought about that agent reading my book and what she thought. The Second that I could check e-mail, I most certainly did, and.... there it was. The non-rejection had become a rejection. She gave me the whole "we loved your work, gave it great consideration in full-staff meetings, and while I do believe that it is a worthwhile and significant project I don't ultimately feel we are the ones to represent your work"... or something like that. Not like I've memorized that e-mail or anything.

So I was super bummed. BUT- I knew that I had prayed like crazy over this whole process and entrusted it to God when I sent my manuscript off to her over e-mail. So, she just wasn't the one. I'm okay with that. I trust Him.

Then. The Very Next Day, this other agent I had contacted like, 2 months ago, e-mailed to ask for my full manuscript. Seriously? Excitement mixed with hesitation. Excitement. Hesitation again. Maybe some doubt. Wonder.

And he still has it and I haven't heard back. So I'm still querying my little heart away trying to get in touch with other agents out there who just maybe possibly could believe in this as much as I do and see a place for it in our world.

In the meantime I try to sit back and be patient. Believe that there is a plan for me and that this desire and dream won't be wasted. And not chart this process out on my own schedule with a month-by-month checklist of when my Life Plan will come to fruition.

I'm trying to learn the meaning of Abide. Dwell. Just trust, let things happen, and sit on the promises I have been given. Hasn't the rest of my life all pointed to the fact that God really does have my best in mind and things ALWAYS work out better than I ever could have planned them, even if there was some heartache involved in the mix?

There is a Plan. I'm trying to trust that. Believe it, and cling to it.