Thursday, February 18, 2010

You elude me, perfection


I have been telling myself for months that mid-February is going to be my personal deadline to send out queries to agents about my manuscript. Well, it’s looking to be on the later side of mid-February to me and have I sent out a single query?


Nope.


Not one. Why? In my head I blame it on perfection. The wording not being just right, L hasn’t been able to set aside the time to proof-read them for me this week, I want to make sure that I don’t contact them at a time when the rest of the world is, and the length of time it takes to octuple-check the submission guidelines to make sure I’m doing this thing correctly is just ridiculous.


But in reality I think it’s fear. Because once I hit the ‘send’ button it’s out of my hands and out of my control. And into somebody’s hands that just might say ‘You know, this just isn’t right for us.’ Ugh. I’m going to get rejected. Hopefully (!) not by all of them, but rejections will come because that’s just the nature of the beast, and that just doesn’t sound like fun to me. So I procrastinate. And now I’m telling myself that I’ll get them sent out by next Tuesday. Surely that will give me enough time to ensure 100% perfection.


Why do I hold myself to such ridiculous standards? I know that I have missed out on so many things in my life because if I know I can’t do it up to the standard I hold myself to, I don’t even attempt it. I guess I want to make sure I feel success with it. I’m a bit ridiculous like that.


I know I’ve done some talking about my book, about my writing and all that jazz, but I haven’t yet fully explained my whole journey with it. How this crazy idea came into my head, why I followed through with it, or what the result was. It might take me a little bit to gather my thoughts on that, but I’ll do some soul-searchin’ tonight and let you know tomorrow.


For now, L and I are off to see Brian Regan. He’s just about the most HILAROUS comedian. Ever. It’ll be a good night.




2 comments:

  1. Sarah,
    All I can say is perfection is unattainable, as I’m sure you already know.

    I was laughing when I read your post today, not because it was funny, but because it is so very familiar. Seems we are on the same path at the same time. Coincidentally, I just updated my blog with a post about perfection because I have also been tormented by the need to perfect my hook, then my query and now my book proposal. So I procrastinate, read blogs, write blogs, rewrite my book proposal and ignore the calendar.

    The only thing that helped me a little was the realization that I don’t have to send out all the letters… just send out ONE today. Then make it a little more perfect and send out the second one tomorrow… and so on.

    Wishing you great success!

    -Buffi
    www.imbuffi.com

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  2. came across your blog randomly via Nathan Bransford's blog, and thought I'd offer some anonymous support--

    I've been submitting lots of short stories for the past year, while I worked on my novel, in anticipation. In that time, I've acquired 60 rejections and 4 acceptances (for the shorts, not the novel! hah). Rejections are tough but somebody, somewhere will like your work. It may take a long time to find them, but you will.

    Don't let the inevitable rejections get you down. Keep at it. Keep writing, keep querying.

    Good luck!

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